this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2026
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[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 165 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (20 children)

Fun fact: choking during sex is the second most common cause of stroke in women under 40. Source.

When you cut off blood supply to the brain you start damaging it real fast. There are studies measuring blood biomarkers of neural injury and inflammation in women who report being chocked during sex and it's clear that choking causes brain damage. According do experts there's no safe way to do it. It's just another disturbing, violent trend popularized by porn.

[–] aldhissla@beehaw.org 2 points 6 days ago

Blaming sexual violence on porn seems the same kind of cheap virtue-signalling as blaming gun violence on video games.

Being choked feels good. Your partner sometimes asks you to choke them, sometimes in the heat of the action.

The most important thing is that there really is no safe way to do it, and it should be never done. Upvoted your post for visibility. For the sceptics, here is an article (in German) about one medical doctor accidentally killing another during sex.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 1 points 5 days ago

According do experts there’s no safe way to do it.

I always heard that you/your partner should squeeze the sides of the neck so that it gives the sensation of being choked without actually blocking air/bloodflow

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 102 points 1 week ago

Thankfully my wife is over 40, so it looks like we dodged that bullet.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thank you for speaking up and posting this source. I know you and I haven't historically gotten on well, but I fully agree with you here.

[–] Amarlune@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 days ago

Mfw I browse the fediverse daily and am aware of some of the conflict that has gone down between y'all. I am on Lemmy too much lmao

[–] Squirrelanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Why does it have to be about violence and porn? Talk about the dangers all you want but that shit just genuinely feels like crack. You get flooded with brain chemicals that feel euphoric. Focus on the important bits about the risks rather than applying stupid moral judgements.

[–] itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ok but you do realize how comparing it to crack is not helping here right

Like I'm more than happy to also warn people to stay tf away from crack lol

I'm not disagreeing that it's dangerous, I'm saying the moralizing is unnecessary and pointless when it has real, addictive effects to focus on instead.

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The euphoria is from the hypoxia, I think. In which case, a similar high could be had by scheduling sexy times in an oxygen tent mountain climbers and endurance athletes use for training.

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 35 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It has nothing to do with euphoria. From the source:

In 2021, a research team led by Debby Herbenick, provost professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health, interviewed 24 women aged 18 to 33 in depth about their experiences of strangulation during sex. Although, for most, their first experience had involved no prior discussion – including one who was having sex for the first time – the majority now viewed it as “routine and regular”. All believed it was safe, despite experiencing many physical reactions, including coughing, gasping, difficulty swallowing and breathing and vision changes. Some said they accepted being choked for their partner’s pleasure, even though they didn’t personally find it arousing. Others did enjoy it and sought it out as “adventurous” and “exciting”.

The paper notes that historically, autoerotic asphyxiation is rare among women and adds, “It is curious how sexual asphyxiation, which has long been described as predominantly engaged in by/for men’s arousal, has become so frequently enacted by men on women partners.”

Bows makes the same point. “What’s not being talked about is that this is happening overwhelmingly to women by men. If you accept what people will argue – that this is an activity that’s enjoyed because it’s ‘sensual’ – then why aren’t men the recipients more often? To me, it’s just another way we’ve culturally legitimised men harming women.”


It just keeps going like that. It's really wroth reading.

[–] protist@retrofed.com 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"then why aren’t men the recipients more often?"

I'd be interested to know the source on this, because I know plenty men who are into this. Even in the paragraph prior it states, "sexual asphyxiation, which has long been described as predominantly engaged in by/for men’s arousal."

That said, full consent and knowledge about the potential long-term physical harm are absolutely critical

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

It says "The paper notes that historically, autoerotic asphyxiation is rare among women". So it seams to suggest that before choking your partner became common it was mostly men to chocked themselves while masturbating. Now it's mostly men that choke women. It doesn't say it doesn't happen to men, just that women were not into it before and now it happens to them more.

[–] basiclemmon98@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

idk if you were trying to be funny or not, but it is driving me INSANE:

choking*

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I get what your saying

idk if you were trying to be funny or not, but:

You're*

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)
[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It’s a little funny when people correct others spelling mistakes in the same thread where they also have made spelling mistakes, that’s all haha

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

I'm just being funny, I agree, it's always a bit cringe when people correct others on their spelling while spelling their reply incorrectly 😅

Like if you're gonna be a pedant, be a pedant correctly

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It's a very poorly written paper that is using generalizations without a proper source or study group.

A sample size of 24 to make these broad assumptions is frankly ridiculous

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[–] Squirrelanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is such a crazy extrapolation to me, especially as someone who has had a girlfriend die from (EXTREMELY STUPIDLY) doing unsupervised breath play on herself.

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So this one case proves that women did it as often as men? Ok...

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago (3 children)

The study didn't test that men did it more or not. They just asserted it without data to back it up

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

In 2021, a research team led by Debby Herbenick, provost professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health, interviewed 24 women aged 18 to 33 in depth about their experiences of strangulation during sex. Although, for most, their first experience had involved no prior discussion – including one who was having sex for the first time – the majority now viewed it as “routine and regular”. All believed it was safe, despite experiencing many physical reactions, including coughing, gasping, difficulty swallowing and breathing and vision changes. Some said they accepted being choked for their partner’s pleasure, even though they didn’t personally find it arousing. Others did enjoy it and sought it out as “adventurous” and “exciting”.

The paper notes that historically, autoerotic asphyxiation is rare among women and adds, “It is curious how sexual asphyxiation, which has long been described as predominantly engaged in by/for men’s arousal, has become so frequently enacted by men on women partners.”

Bows makes the same point. “What’s not being talked about is that this is happening overwhelmingly to women by men. If you accept what people will argue – that this is an activity that’s enjoyed because it’s ‘sensual’ – then why aren’t men the recipients more often? To me, it’s just another way we’ve culturally legitimised men harming women.”

Here is the Guardian article that ExLisper already linked.

Here is the paper that the Guardian references.

[–] basiclemmon98@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I get what your saying, but I think a lot of women do enjoy it for MANY different reasons, most unhealthy. I am one who enjoys it, so there is that-

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

No one is saying that there's no women that enjoy choking. I still wouldn't say it's a lot of women.

[–] protist@retrofed.com 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I don't understand why you're quoting the same thing to me that I responded to?

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

I put the links under the quote to both the article and the original paper.

You asked for the sources.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Yeah if you're actually choking your partner you're doing it wrong

Lightly squeezing someone's throat during sex is choking only in name. You're not supposed to full on choke them out.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

OK but what if I really like being choked a little

Not that I'm under 40. Or a woman.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It's like any other risky behavior - there's still a risk, but ultimately it's up to you if you want to risk death in pursuit of orgasm.

Haha people get so pissy about reality - I'm a domme and engage in some choking, but have strict rules around it. It is silly to pretend there's 0 risk to choking. Be informed and get consent.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just a little throat clenching, not enough to get fuzzy, just enough to make breathing a bit harder, and to remind me that I'm her property

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Edit: misread!

It's still risky, but you do you.

[–] Zarobi@aussie.zone 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Reminder that any sexual choking is now illegal in Australia

[–] Cypher@aussie.zone 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can’t find a source that verifies your claim.

You might be thinking of the ban on strangulation in porn that was passed in the UK recently?

[–] Zarobi@aussie.zone 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Cypher@aussie.zone 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Though not broadly different from other State and Territory laws the legal firms advice that is linked in the article relates to NSW law and does not indicate that all sexual strangulation is unlawful.

Your claim, and the articles claim, regarding the legality of sexual strangulation is untrue on the grounds that sexual strangulation may be performed in a way that is consensual, does not result in harm, loss of consciousness or death.

It is not explicitly illegal according to Federal, State or Territory law.

[–] Zarobi@aussie.zone 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Here's another one:

While the sexual practice was often consensual, Douglas said: “You can’t consent to death or really serious harm under Australian law … there’s that line that is very clearly drawn in strangulation law – and assault law more generally.”

Theoretically, if the stranglee never gets injured, and they don't tell anyone, then you might not get in trouble. However, since it has such a high injury rate, if they end up in hospital, you might face criminal charges. Even if they have a therapist and say that they are choked during sex, then it's a mandatory reporting thing at that level too. Just don't choke people lol it's extremely dangerous and legally risky

[–] Cypher@aussie.zone 2 points 6 days ago

Just don't choke people lol it's extremely dangerous and legally risky

Advocating for abstinence is a losing strategy as noted in the article.

I’m not interested in sexual choking, though I do choke people out occasionally in martial arts training, I was interested only in the claim regarding legality.

[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

JFC, what kind of porn are you people watching?

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Read to source. Choking became mainstream in porn.

[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

That was a horrifying read. I had no idea. Thank you for the context.

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