this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2025
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From my personal experience, the 3rd spaces is a huge thing. I've met my wife in such a space, and pre-Covid I've run a large Meetup group that focused on safe socialization (dinners, cinemas, hiking, art events). I've seen countless of hookups and dozens of marriages within that group. Covid pretty much killed Meetup groups on our area, so when we want to socialize all that's left are pubs and clubs, and there I only see single-gender groups with no overlap. I doubt anyone is getting laid, and even if they do, chances of a meaningful relationship before actually knowing each other's likes and dislikes, and common interests, are minimal.
My husband and I met on OKCupid, definitely not a traditional third space. But we met back in 2014, back when the site was still good. It's algorithm was actually really good back then if you put the effort into actually filling out the quizzes and surveys. But as time has gone on, it seems they have really enshittified. Instead of helping people finding meaningful relationships, they just try to keep people subscribed for as long as possible. And my husband and I met on OKCupid without ever subscribing for anything; we never gave them a dime.