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Yeah, you're right on the "You have to vote for us.." thing.
"Champagne Elitism" has been a thing since before Obama.
I saw it take off in the mid-90's with the pivot to public high schools pushing everyone to college and ignoring vocational education. It's the college-degree, "educated" high-handedness of the neo-liberal, illiberal left, and a terrible blind spot.
Part of wy I have been screaming for decades for the left to stop using the phrase "..voting against their self-interest.." when referring to working poor voters that chose Trump.
They didn't vote against their self-interests, they voted to fuck themselves because they were too angry to think clearly.
The reality is, most working class voters - and yes, I'm one - do not KNOW what they want long term because they're stuck in the day to day survival mode.. (you can't think or plan long term when daily troubles are what you constantly have on your plate. Ask me how I know..)
For the "educated" affluent elite politicians to say what the poor should or should not want smacks of the very kind of high-handed arrogance that loses elections for the Democrats.
You're not wrong at all on it and wrap it up in sexism and it's a win for the orange asshole.. again.