this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2026
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Ok great, next time your kid hits me I'm going to hit him back.
You're an adult. Just bring your own calming banana. Duh!
hits the kid with the banana
"Calm the fuck down!"
Unfortunately I don't possess any banana related super powers.
So like, I've trained martial arts briefly, right? It's really important not to train your "I'm in danger" instincts away, because they can protect you. However, this can unfortunately lead to you punting a 7 year old.