this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2026
259 points (98.9% liked)
LinkedinLunatics
6039 readers
164 users here now
A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com
(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
No, don’t say that! Say “I hurkledurked the dooper bobble.” It means exactly the same thing (nothing,) but using the business jargon of the 2030s so you stay ahead of the trend.
It kind of sounds like they're advising you to ditch responsibilities that you don't think matter in favor of more important-seeming ones, which is the kind of fucked up ladder climbing and damn the consequences that puts sociopaths in most of the positions of power in the world.
They have a point though. They are telling you to phrase things in a way that makes you look better.
Like how during the war on terror, we didn't torture people, we interrogated them using enhanced methods.
How does speaking like a braindead MBA make you look better?
Because that's the target audience of the speech.
Stooping to new lows do be the 2026 mantra
Because generally you're justifying your promotion to an MBA anymore. The days of being promoted purely on merit because your boss understands the work you do are LONG gone.
How else are you going to become an executive and have all the ~~slaves~~ employees do whatever you want?
It doesn't make you look better if you're shirking your own work to work on stuff other people want you to do. "Clearing bandwidth for the important task" is a fancy way of saying you're making someone else do your work so you can work on something that someone else considers a higher priority.
Seen that bite helpers in the ass more than once.
A lot of these examples also seem to require you to function differently, or to lie about what you've been doing.