this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2025
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We all know that won't work. Try this instead.
The stinkier the cheese, the more the fascination!
I keep stealing shoes, and filling it with rue, but all it's given me are shouting matches
My ex gf and i used to steal each other fancy cheeses. It was the most intense love i have ever felt.
How do you steal each other fancy cheeses? Or steal fancy cheese from each other?
So, you steal a fancy cheese, right? Then you give it to your girlfriend. Then maybe she steals a fancy cheese that reminds her of you and passes it off. Now youve stolen each other fancy cheeses.
From where though? The fancy cheese store? Does every town have one of these for purposes of romantic theft?
It's called a fromagerie, pleb
Wherever.
My mom and I used to steal fancy cheese for each other. God I miss that woman like you can't believe. 10/10 mom and person.
This made me cry.
Ha. She's one worth crying over. Lost her in April, and I don't know that I'll recover. Hug your loved ones. ♥️
But I will tell you, she taught me how to steal fantastic cheeses, and we never went hungry again. Haha.
True love right there
That's kind of an insane gift for a first date given how expensive cheese is.
I mean, if he makes it himself or knows the people who do, he probably gets it a lot cheaper than at the store.
Would marry that farmer. No questions asked, no long engagement. Straight to the court house, we're getting hitched.
Bro, plastic cheese…
Bro, that's cheese coated in wax.
It blows my mind that someone cool, intelligent, and attractive enough to read Vonnegut doesn't know such a basic cheese fact.
👉👈
"Are you ovulating? I have cheese if you are."
no wonder it didn't work, that's not even cheese
Nilered did a video on this, it's technically at least cheese-adjacent
https://youtu.be/0aGNAxN5Z-o
It's cheese, with stuff added to it. The stuff being more milk and some shit to keep it solid at room temperature as well as shelf-stability. It's essentially a solidified cheese sauce. You can even make it at home.
But why would you?
i mean, so is grass
He failed though. Arrest him, and bring me someone taller.
To be fair, cheese works on most people, whether or not they're ovulating.
The cheese is under my foreskin
Yeah but this one unironically works for a lot of women.
Works for a lot of men too. I mean not me. I prefer mozzarella.
I tried this with my fiance with a dairy allergy and now I'm single again.
Fun fact, the digestion of milk/cheese creates casomorphins from caesin, one of the most prominent peptides in milk. Casomorphins can activate opioid receptors. Giving a woman a slice of cheese might work in your benefit if she eats the cheese.
I read that as "a slice of milk" and like. Technically yeah it's not wrong
Idk, this piece of advice legitimately works on my wife.
Bitches love cheddar
Fascinating
That shoe one just reminded me that when we bought our house and had to start renovations on it, the attic had lots of women's shoes. Just one shoe from a pair and all different shoes. I have so many questions for the previous owner, but unfortunately they are no longer with us.
If they were all the same size, perhaps amputee?
Or maybe a really specific fetish.
Maybe both.
Quite possibly a question best left unanswered, at least until you no longer live there
Maybe they robbed a shoe store. On displays they frequently leave one shoe from a pair so that stealing them just nets you a pile of left shoes lol
I like the idea that these are all steps to one process. Like, you gotta steal her shoe and some hair and pins, and the best distraction is with cheese.