Fuck you I won't do what you tell me.
this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
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With a pic of the perfect girth of spring rolls lmao
(Also 69th comment π€)
Too late, please advise.
Fuckin Big Pharma, at it again
Patients are warning doctors to mind their own business
Where else am I supposed to store them?
You're not my real dad, DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!
Can't have any fucking fun anymore, what's next, I'm not allowed to shove croissants up my anus?
What is the charge?! Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
Sir, sir! mastication before masterbation.
What is the charge?! ~~Eating~~ Boofing a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
Get your hands off my ~~penis~~ anus!
What about egg rolls?
Well how else are men supposed to get pregnant? Gotta have an egg to get fertilized.
That's okay
Frozen? Or no?
Only way to get them solid enough, really
First they came for the spring rolls...
Then I came for the spring rolls
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(2 replies)
You need spring rolls with flared bases for that.
Nah, it's fine. It's digestible so you'll just pass it out the other end if you lose hold of it.
Literally 1984
Yes that's how many I've gotten up there (lifetime, of course. I'm not a freak).
Good to know, I was sitting on the fence about this. Funny enough, the doctor said I shouldn't be boofing fenceposts either, but I'll wait until there's a consensus on that, I think.
Why? Why shouldn't I put a spring roll up me bum?
Funniest meme of the day.
Because it offends everyone else at the Chinese buffet.
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About 10 years ago, I went out at the beginning of the summer to buy a few fresh pool noodles, and couldn't find them anywhere. It was that way all summer.
The next summer, they were everywhere, but now they all had a tag or sticker attached, saying "Do not insert in rectum."
So there were no pool noodles for an entire summer, because some guy saw one, and couldn't resist the compulsion to stick it up his ass.
Worse, he sued and was rewarded some form of compensation because some judge agreed that it is not obvious that pool noodles shouldn't stuck up an ass.
Are egg rolls still fair game though?
Why wouldn't they be?
The only thing you should put in your anus is your elbow.
No, wait, that's ears.
The only thing you should put in your anus is your ear.
No, no, that's still not right.
The only think you should put in your anus is something with a flared base.*
*If you're worrying about whether your boyfriend's penis has a flared base and you can't find a tape measure, recall that most penises are not readily detachable, and most boyfriends have hips wider than their penis, so you're in the clear.
If you're worried that this advice doesn't apply simply because you don't have a boyfriend, there's an app for that.
Too fucking late Doc, Iβm farting essence of fried cabbage and cat meat until Thanksgivingβs giving.
We should tell this to RJK Jr, he said to not listen at experts.
well shit.
I mean... I'm trying to be snarky, but I'm finding it hard ot argue that it's bad advice.
Only thing I can think of is a deep fried spring roll can be pretty sharp at the edges and can tear the delicate skin there.
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Sellouts.
MAHA says veggies are important.
Shit it was at the entrance! Glad I was scrolling Lemmy with Elvis Canβt Help Falling in Love, playing in the background.
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