this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] jaupsinluggies@feddit.uk 3 points 1 hour ago

Saands like we've gorra fackin spy raand 'ere

[–] zululove@lemmy.ml 5 points 4 hours ago

England need democracy, free speech, and imperial measures NOW

[–] maxwells_daemon@lemmy.world 14 points 7 hours ago

Oi, you got yer internet licence, mate? Can’t be crackin’ these jokes if you ain’t a proper grown-up, innit?

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago (4 children)

One of 3 jokes.

Its either either :

"loicence"

Haha no spices

Or "bad teeth"

[–] Zron@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

My favorite to poke at is treating anything with a blade on it like it’s a deadly weapon with no other purpose.

Can’t have a locking pocket knife.

There was a group that wanted to ban pointed kitchen knives.

Had a dude tell me he doesn’t carry an axe or saw when camping because it “might scare passersby”

Photos of police “hauls” that show screw drivers and hammers as “deadly weapons that don’t belong on the streets”

So it’s at least 4 jokes.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 38 minutes ago

And here I am walking around the woods with a big-ass machete.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 5 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

You forgot “bo’oh ‘o wa’er”

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 1 points 7 minutes ago

I think this is Igbo

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

Don't forget the bizarre "r" into everything like drawring, the lawr, etc.

[–] LotrOrc@lemmy.world 3 points 6 hours ago (3 children)

Thats more American in my experience That and completely dropping entire parts of words for absolutely no reason I can understand

Ex. Comfortable somehow becomes comftable. Drawer becomes drawr. Wednesday becomes wensday

[–] damnedfurry@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

People (I'm in the US) are pretty much always astonished to realize, when I ask them to say the word "important", that they more often than not will pronounce zero of the T's in the word, when I point out that they didn't.

It always really stuck out to me as a kid when Shawnee Smith (probably most famous for the Saw movies now), on the old sitcom Becker, would always enunciate the T's in that word—that's what made me realize how weird it was that everyone wasn't saying it that way, lol.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

And hhherbs, because there's a fucking H in it!

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

I've only ever heard that "added r" thing when watching BBC stuff. Can you link me to some Americans saying drawring instead of drawing, for example?

[–] waterSticksToMyBalls@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

The added r shows up in American Midland dialect. Wash becomes warsh, etc

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 hours ago

Interesting, thanks.

[–] LotrOrc@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

Huh thats really interesting ive never heard that on BBC

Its all over the place in New England especially in MA

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 hours ago

Hm, I'll try and find some examples. It just fascinates me how things like language evolve chaotically, like tiny changes that somehow then become the new equilibrium point.

[–] Alaik@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 hours ago

I didnt know people from Boston could pronounce Rs at any point, let alone add more. "Pahk the cah."

[–] damnedfurry@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Apparently, there's some sort of linguistic exchange program within British English where T's are traded out for R's, and then a persistent logistics issue causes the R's to be distributed incorrectly.

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 points 5 hours ago

I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about this important issue... I wonder what Susie Dent thinks of it.

[–] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 hours ago

Also, sailing away because of their ugly wives and terrible food.

[–] markovs_gun@lemmy.world 28 points 11 hours ago

I'm really glad I didn't have to see the word cunt here that would have really ruined my day

[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 15 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

This is not the UK Alan Turing died for

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 9 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Alan didnt die for any UK. He dies because of fascist homophic UK government drove him to suicide.

[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Yay! You've caught the essence of the joke I tried to make

[–] Schmuppes@lemmy.today 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] porksnort@slrpnk.net 3 points 9 hours ago

Much too soon! (but totally a good one, i ill be stealing this one)

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