this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 77 points 1 month ago (3 children)

oh god, they're already evolving into crabs

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 22 points 1 month ago

All sex lives end up here. My wife has slowly over the course of months started walking sideways. She doesn't notice it though

[–] xkbx@startrek.website 12 points 1 month ago

It’s the ultimate lifeform

[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

it was inevitable

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 58 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Dear internet, should i communicate to my partner in my relationship?"

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

no. that is gay.

best thing to do is listen to the most upvoted of the 2000 comments you got on /r/relationships

[–] emirbutdumb@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago

greatest thing to do

[–] The_Helmet_Stays_On@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] BreakerSwitch@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

He was my lover!

[–] notreallyhere@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

this is her fault for not appreciating how cool a crab mating call could be

[–] diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago
[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago

God fucking damnit, I already made a carcinisation joke in an nsfw thread yesterday.

...

Well now I'm just feeling all crabby.

frothes bubbles, annoyedly

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 month ago

Good for them