That's so open-minded of them. Everyone is welcome.
So... if your visa has expired... can you just join ICE instead?
this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
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It's by design. If you want to hire bottom of the barrel, you can't have any standards or loops to jump through, or you might lose applicants. As a bonus, people who recognize this won't even apply. As another bonus, articles keep spawning that make ICE out to be a badly run organisation of idiots, when in reality it's actually exactly what it's meant to be and run by ruthless fascists.
They are the SA, no ? So what are the SS gonna be and who's lined up to manage them?
It might not be the best idea to expect this to 1:1 emulate history - ICE is being set up to be both the SA and SS, but neither exactly resemble the former groups. It's a useful metaphor, but overfitting is possibly a trap for us to fall into.
Being made privately from their favorite troops of ICE / CBP
the SS probably did better background checks.
Everyone apply for ICE!
Either the system gets so bogged down they can't recruit anyone, or we end up outnumbering them. Either way, we resist them.
it would be hilarious if ICE was full of anti trump personnel
If just one ICE agent in 50 were a low-key saboteur just quietly, "accidentally" fucking up every single thing that comes their way, it would be disastrous for ICE
I'm gleefully imagining the Truth Social rant where he calls ICE woke
I wanna get that 50K signing bonus and then just bail out
Or just applying and forgetting just to tie up their system
Read the fine print for the sign-on bonus to make sure. Either sounds like a worthy use of time, but everyone needs to decide for themselves what they're willing to do for the resistance; don't pick a fight just because some guy on the internet said it was a good idea.
Whatever your choice, you're the only one who will suffer the consequences of it, so it only needs to satisfy you.
I wonder if I should tell My disabled nonbinary partner to sign up for ICE, grab the 50 grand, and flee the country with it
The sign on bonus is a retention bonus for staying 5 years. You, myself, the entire world know he is not good for paying bills.
Every single member eligible hire will be let go at 4 Years 354 days, or just not paid at all. See the $2,000 Check they were going to send to every American.
5 years is crazy, even Elon companies don't make you wait 5 years for a vest
It's because the election is a 4 year cycle. He will either be dead, in jail, or emperor supreme by the time the 5 years is up so he will never have to pay.
Ah Art of the deal, See this is why im not president
Do it. Crime is legal now.
grab the 50 grand, and flee the country with it
Usually sign on bonuses are broken out over a period of time, you'd receive say 25% in your first paycheck, 25% after 3 months, 25% after 6 months and the last 25% after 12 months. Or in my wife's case when she took a CNA role in 2021 she got $1k in the first paycheck, $1k after 3 months and the last $1k after 6 months for her $3k sign on bonus
I think the case with ICE is 5 years. Which isn't a crazy time period for large incentives to kick in normally, but the odds of these ICE agents still being employed in 5 years isn't great if MAGA goes down, and if it doesn't then 50k won't buy a decent pair of shoes in 5 years.
Though the base pay is far from bad with the job requirement of a pulse. So it's not like the department isn't bleeding cash to make USA worse.
Gosh that is so much less exciting than what it sounds like.
If true we could all sign up and waste a lot of their time.
Why not get hired and also submit your daily timesheets to get paid?
Do they check citizenship?
Nice work! However, an ICE agent is an ICE agent...get the rope!
name checks out
If the regime rises to power, commits atrocities, and you're still an agent when it's over, sure.
If you get in early, be part of the resistance, and help keep the atrocities from happening, then no.
You'll still want people on the inside. Where they can sabotage and hinder the regime. And ultimately be eyewitnesses for the trials when its all over.
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Are background checks woke?
If we end up making it through midterms without martial law, at the very least they've put themselves together in a nice list to deal with once cleanup takes place.
Wait so, free money glitch?
Alright, I am in.
It comes at the cost of being an ICE member, and that will follow you for the rest of your life.
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