The kids are alright.
this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2026
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Gooning is the least bad thing about that generation.
Gooning is their word for masturbation, but most kids that use that word don't know what it means.
I made a helpful table
| Activity Type | Visual Stimulation | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Gooning | Mental | Required (Typically porn) | Long |
| Masturbating | Physical | Optional | Long OR Short |
Oh. I didn't know that they were different. What does the mental activity type mean?
Gooning is a more specific subtype of masturbation.
Masturbating is the act of physically stimulating one's happy parts, solo. It may involve porn, or it may just depend purely on the physical sensation to lead to orgasm.
Gooning has a much closer association with visual stimulation because one would generally goon at something or to something. It also has a strong implication that it usually lasts for a long while; that the point of gooning is to stretch out the pleasure as much as possible and to push away all thoughts until you are nothing but a drooling mess of ecstacy.
So it really is quite different.
Help out an old piece of shit: what’s the dying rose emoji about these days?
What I’ve figured so far is that it’s half-sarcastic, mock sadness. Some kid will say you’re old and then add a bunch of those after, well more accurately they say “Unc 🥀🥀” and dumb shit like that
Unc is AAVE for a beloved elder role model. Making fun of people for being old is for white kids
Dying, dying, dead? Just taking a guess here I'm no jive turkey anymore either.
Had to look up Mr Gassy Incredibles
...and? I'm scared to
The 67 Skibidi Toilet generation. They think they invented “random” humor, but they just renamed it brain rot. Katy t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m would like a word.
They think they invented “random” humor
Do they? Most seem to know damned well that they got it from their parents / older siblings.
Knowing this would require me to interact with children much more than I would like to.
They don't have to interact to observe and mimic behaviors!
They don't think that. The seemingly adults think that. So often I see people complaining about kids and their brainrot, and it's not from the kids themselves
W E E D E A T E R
sammich! and then he shot a sandwich at him
Drat, too blurry to make out the less common horrifying things people are looking forward to.
I reckon I can see jazz aneurysms in there on the left!
Can't believe a bunch of college freshmen would be into porn and masturbating. When I went to college it was totally different. We were all chaste as nuns and modest and church mice.
Oh whoa is society! The Youngs are ruining everything! Would that they behaved in the way I remember my generation doing it - diligent, virtuous, humble, and perfectly in every way.
Woe to your use of whoa
Idk back when I was in college we fucked each other /s
Agreed on all fronts, but also *woe is society
Yeah, I remember th same thing as a freshman, it was not any different lol
Gooning:
masturbation so intense that it becomes a state of meditation that consumes you and provides endless pleasure
Can I do it in sex form?
Gooning for Budda
So stimfaping?
I'm glad I graduated in 2019. The bridge collapsed behind me lol
No, it did it back in 2010, sorry. You were left behind too.
I graduated in 2006 and it felt like the bridge had burned long ago.
This is it: low income folks that graduated in '94 were the last to get full student grants and no fees to pay + renting was relatively way cheaper too.
[We didn't start the fire](We Didn’t Start the Fire https://share.google/rITfDo2jfcUB6gBlo)
Ew share.google link
Everything in that slide looks suspiciously smudged like it's AI, and I don't if that means the slide was made with AI or the photo was modified in post with AI.
The text makes sense, so it's unlikely that it's AI.
A lot of phone camera apps that used to do "post processing" now do it with ai
The picture often looks better in viewfinder than when I finally snap it.
that might just stem from the camera that took the photo. tons of budget phones have all kinds of messed up post processing integrated into the camera. i have a Xiaomi POCO X3 that has something akin to this smudging, and it persisted even after I flashed Ubuntu Touch on it
I'm gooning every day
Because I scare away
I smell like fish fillet
Because I have no job
My favourite rapper is pat god
My favourite streamer is kai cenat
That teacher is rethinking his whole life.
Glasgow Gooners!
Class survey?
uh oh, if it isn't the uni I went to