this post was submitted on 24 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 43 comments
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[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 95 points 3 months ago (1 children)

In order from left to right:

Younger, Older, YoungerOlder, Bono

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 months ago
[–] marcos@lemmy.world 77 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Just let stupid people kill themselves in peace. The press doesn't even talk about it anymore... I guess journalists noticed he's just dying, or he got out of money to buy attention.

Anyway, that's 7 years, not 5.

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 51 points 3 months ago (2 children)

My vision is still fucked up from when my eyes rolled to the back of my head from hearing my Grok attached overweight uncle say we're all going to live to 120.

My tin foil hat theory is it's to push these boomers and X'ers further into stock market greed because they're now scrambling to secure retirement savings for a few decades they hadn't planned for.

[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 months ago

the magic of preventing the things that make people die ✨

[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If true, how does that profit Elon Musk? Don't think that Cunt does anything productive except for himself.

[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I mean name a stock more divorced from reason and driven by greed than TSLA right now. Dude literally has more to lose than anyone.

[–] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

What's keeping Tesla stocks afloat are the cult retail investors who believe Elon is a god who could do no wrong.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Dude is harvesting young people blood, he fucking vampire. So no he should not be walking the streets in peace.

[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

It is worse, he uses his kid as a blood bag.

[–] chocrates@piefed.world 10 points 3 months ago

The jump from 2018 to 2023 was the 25 years I thought

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 months ago

yeah because them loudly bragging about it certainly isn't going to make others try the same thing..

god i'm so sick of this rhetoric, can you people just grow a spine already?

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br -3 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] spacesatan@leminal.space 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I will never understand why people are so mad about him trying to slow his aging.

"Hey fuck you, why are you trying to not die. You should give up like the rest of us."

Like damn I wish every billionaire was like him, we might actually get some decent funding for anti-aging research.

[–] Soulg@ani.social 22 points 2 months ago

I don't know why people are mad about it, but the shit he's doing is hilariously clownish.

In general though I completely agree if he figures out something real that can actually be used by the poors (unlikely and also partly why everyone hates him) then that would indeed be good

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I have this idea for a dystopian story where we've figured out aging and can keep people alive forever, but it's only done so that people can continue to work in order to pay off their debts, and only once you've done so are you allowed to die. And the people who administer the anti-aging treatment are also the ones who hold the notes on your debt. I'll get around to writing it one day. I'm sure it'll just be a copy of Running Man or something.

[–] 4grams@awful.systems 6 points 2 months ago

I like it, do it! Have you read Altered Carbon? Has some similar themes. I loved the book, might be some good inspiration. I’ll read yours when it’s out, love that genre :).

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Another soul hunting for the Elixir of Life? He better watch his mercury intake.

[–] Nutteman@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

My brother (8M) and I (10M) performed human transmutation on our dead mother (32F), AITA?

[–] UniversalBasicJustice@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yes, you are the alchemist

[–] Nutteman@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just killed a god-like being (1000+NB) and had to give up my alchemy. AITA for being jealous of my brother for getting his body back and keeping his alchemy?

Yes but in recompense you get a dog!

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I wish people wouldn't just post random stuff like this without any sort of explanation.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@piefed.world 33 points 3 months ago

shitpost-factor increases the less that is uncovered by op

[–] Dojan@pawb.social 30 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Venture capitalist obsessed with eternal youth drinks his son’s cum to stay young forever, or something like that.

[–] shittydwarf@piefed.social 7 points 3 months ago

Thats pretty much accurate

[–] three@lemmy.zip 19 points 3 months ago

Unfortunately, we were unable to approve your wish at this time. You will receive an email or letter in the mail within 10 business days providing more details on our decision.

[–] wander1236@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Surprisingly the person being quote-posted is the subject. It's this weirdo: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bryan_Johnson

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 1 points 3 months ago

Making ex-Mormons look bad.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] sheridan@lemmy.world 28 points 3 months ago

Based on the latest image, Ebenezer Scrooge.

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 17 points 3 months ago

Step 1: Become a vampire Step 2: Drink blood Step 3: Be immor(t)al

[–] CelloMike@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

And all it took was stealing his son's blood

[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

The fact that anyone can gloss over this fact without thinking he should be in prison for child abuse is beyond me.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That's nothunf, I aged 10 years in 4 months of depression.

[–] SpookyBogMonster@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 months ago

I look 10 years younger, after having been on Estrogen for a couple years.

This guy's attempts to look younger have culminated in him getting on some Picture of Dorian Gray shit

[–] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Does he have an eating disorder?

[–] CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He has an everything disorder.

[–] pipe01@programming.dev 2 points 2 months ago

He is a disorder

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

He looks like Ed Sheridan is turning into Brian May (not that one).

[–] Zarajevo@feddit.org 2 points 2 months ago

Whatever he is doing it is certainly not working. Maybe humanity can learn from his misstakes, that id great