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Ok but what if a guy just has a massive hog, should he get into this sport early?
Apparently some countries are now testing boys in puberty with a method of determining just how large their penis will become. They then train those with the largest hog potential on how to ski jump
Just your standard penis inspection day
This sounds like hugenics to me
Hogenics
Dongenics
"Hog potential" should go on the report card, next to attendance and teacher's comments.
Your child failed the Hog Potential portion of the exam.
"But she doesn't have a hog.."
That's why she failed, sir.
To be fair and equal should the same be done with girls and use the term "rack size potential"
Why go through all that hassle when you can just inject acid into your junk?
* sleps kid in the crotch * this bad boy can gain us at least 5m extra.
Go back to OLD old Olympics. Everyone naked
The cheating countries now begin selecting competitors with the largest genitals for greatest lift effect.
That is just how the olympics and pro sports works.
95% training 5% finding the mutants. The 5% is basically the only way to break records these days when people aren't trying to engineer victory.
This is why we should have events targetted at everyday tasks: "endurance sitting" "quickest 1000 stair steps carrying a heavy box" etc
Would make the Winter Olympics quite challenging!
No one said the olympics is easy. Is it 3 weeks no food, 3 days no water, 3 hours no shelter (from the elements)?
So make sure every game is less than 1hr30min at the high end.
Especially the judges and spectators
They’ll have to make a new rule banning the batwing
Olimpics
Ski jumping is the dumbest sport out there. There are points for style which is arbitrary and already takes it down couple of levels compared with real sports. Weight is super important so the 'athletes' are all starving all the time. Wind has a big influence so they have to guess when gust will happen but since it changer during the day judges will arbitrarily change the length of runway at different points of the competition. It's barely fair. And on top of that the suit has such a huge influence that the jumpers can't even touch it after they were certified. Like they literally can't touch the suit they are wearing because just changing how it adjust to the body will affect the score. And now we learned that adding 1cm to the length of the suit have such a big influence that they will inject stuff in their dicks to get an advantage. This 'sport' is more about starving yourself, having luck and finding ways to cheat the rules then it is about athleticism.
I think all Olympic level sports are a lot about "finding ways to cheat the rules then it is about athleticism" because it's the highest level of competition. Myself, I am not athletic. If I wanted to become a runner I'd get better by running more. But the best of the best are already training a ton. So to get advantages and milk those few teeny tiny advancements they have to turn to things like the suits. Remember those swim suits that they used to use? I think they're banned now but they gave an advantage and I think they were single use too, which is crazy.
Yes but no one does ski jumping as a hobby. Running, skiing, cycling and pretty much any other sport can be done for fun or for health benefits. Ski jumping is quite unique as sport that exists only at professional level where it's all about cheating.
You can read a real news article here about this. Imagine injecting stuff into your penis. https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/feb/06/penisgate-winter-olympics-ski-jumpers-acid-penis-health-risks-explainer
I’d be ok with this if it was guaranteed their penises became infected and required amputation
Can only do it once so make it count
The ol' Elon, as it's traditionally called.
Imagine injecting stuff into your penis.
Done! What's next?
Now imagine injecting penis into Winter Olympics ski jumpers
Pfffft, way ahead of you.
That's stupid. Dudes just need to use a penis pump the week they get fitted for the suit.
There’s an easy fix for that … make the suit crotch less but no one want to ear the truth
More like they don't want to eye it.
Just enforce a pp size of exactly 2cm, the staff will check you just before the jump & either cut or fluff you to specification.
... but while on subject - since they use (size regulated) skis as part of the equipment, why don't they allow for like (size regulated) beaver tail buttplugs that the athletes would manoeuvre to their advantage (gliding & prolonging the jump, tho the best amongst them would actually flap it vigorously for extra lift).
Um... That part is concave so adding material (area) decreases circumference.
Suit circumference I think means "of the entire suit". Its a weird way to say it but in the context they're using it, it makes sense.
The entire suit is 3D, in which case it makes more sense to talk about surface area, but that is measured in cm². The "circumference" must apply to the "sail" shadow.
Remember the good old days when guys would shove socks into their underwear and girls would shove them into their bras?
I think you mean the good old days when there was a bespoke piece of clothing specifically for that purpose: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codpiece
I love how the codpiece is not the weird part of this painting
The best thing about ski jumping is a Japanese video from the early Internet days where they rolled different tires down a jump to see which one went the furthest. Looked like it was recorded on VHS and digitized by a TI-83 to post online, but it's awesome. Gotta go search for it again!
