this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
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Funny

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[–] mech@feddit.org 203 points 7 months ago (5 children)

I've never even seen a manatee in a bikini.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 53 points 7 months ago

Glad I’m not the only one with that thought.

[–] tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 114 points 7 months ago (4 children)
[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 40 points 7 months ago

Is she single? Asking for a friend.

[–] the_mighty_kracken@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago

Her name is Barbara.

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[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 9 points 7 months ago

Because people like her keep wrestling them off.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

mermaids and their songs are confusing

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[–] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 54 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Manatees are struggling with climate change along the florida coast line where waters in the summer have been measured to up to 100 degree F in the ocean. It has devastated manatee floral diet. And they are dying off from it.

Do not torment the gentle wildlife that you are killing off.

[–] homes@piefed.world 43 points 7 months ago (3 children)

In Florida, is an extremely serious crime to even touch a manatee.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 16 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I once saw a park ranger just screaming at a group of guys and threatening them with $5000 fines just for getting near one.

I told a friend of mine who surfs, and he didn't realize they were so protected. He said there's an old girl who comes to visit them when they surf, and she rolls over on her back so they can scritch her belly. I told him it was a $5000 fine, and he was bummed. He liked scritching his manatee friend.

[–] hanrahan@piefed.social 6 points 7 months ago

Destroy their entire ecosystem is a ok though :(

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[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 39 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

The other perpetrator:

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 34 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Listen, I get it, Manatees have no business wearing a bikini.

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You take that back! Leave them damn sexy manatees alone.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You've been at sea too long, sailor.

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[–] caboose2006@lemmy.world 31 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 26 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

In the criminal justice system, harassment of marine mammals is considered a Florida-tier offense. In Miami-Dade, the detectives who investigate these bizarre aquatic crimes are members of an elite squad known as the Meth-Adjacent Intervention Unit. These are their stories.

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 18 points 7 months ago
[–] Akagigahara@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You mean the Meth-Induced Abnormal Mannerism Investigators?

[–] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Smoke meth in the city where the heat is on
Fight manatees on the beach 'til the break of dawn
Welcome to Miami
Bienvenidos a Miami

[–] fox2263@lemmy.world 24 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Why was the manatee in a park and why was it wearing a bikini. Lastly, was it a licensed wrestling match or unsanctioned?

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[–] Otakulad@lemmy.world 22 points 7 months ago

She just wanted her bikini back after the manatee stole it.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Her hips don't lie! That's shakira! You guys arrested shakira while she was doing her wrestling routine!

You might have noticed she's not blonde.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Confirmed! You guys got shakira while she was having personal arguments with her favorite animal kingdom friend.

Just leave them alone. Its all about past manatee songs that never made it.

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[–] sundray@lemmus.org 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 13 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Manatees can't wear bikinis, their nipples are in entirely the wrong place

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 6 points 7 months ago

Not with that attitude.

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[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

One is left wandering what a manatee in a bikini was doing in a public park...

[–] redbrick@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I feel there's more to this story we're missing here. ..but damn, I'd wrestle her any day...

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Retail4068@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Fighting an endangered animal? Swimming in probably boat lanes. 

Come on guys.

[–] Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 4 points 7 months ago

I see you know your judo well!

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

choke me mommy

[–] Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 9 points 7 months ago

LEAVE IT ALONE! FIGHT ME INSTEAD!

Goes prone

[–] Bahnd@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

Well... Who won?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Oh no here comes the manatee from the top rope with a steel chair! Oof! As god as my witness she is broken in half!

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 7 months ago

I'm going to have to see the video

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Picture is AI

[–] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)
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[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 4 points 7 months ago

Is this on pay per view?

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