“I slap my balls on it” is next level.
this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2026
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i took a shit (portuguese)
Interesting...
It's common in England to say "I couldn't give a shit"
In Poland, in addition to various versions of 'I shit on it', we also have "koło chuja mi to lata", which roughly means "it flies around my dick". The translation doesn't give it justice, but I can't come up with anything better
I shit on it with a high-arcing trajectory. Hungarian (nagy ívben szarok rá)
Ah, we have reached another cycle of reposting this. Good to have, since I don't use a calendar and would otherwise not know which year we have. /j
(Note, I am not against reposts if spaced "far enough" in time, because as mentioned before: I don't use a calendar. /j)
I realized a long time ago that everything is new to somebody, so reposts that aren't just like machine gun level are perfectly fine.
Yes, I agree. :)
Danish: it concerns me [to the extent of(?)] a cardboard-duck / harvest-flower
(Det rager mig en papand / høstblomst)
Italian has a few that might be hard to translate:
Fottesega: "fucks a handjob/saw"? This one I reckon might be really difficult to translate but "fotte" means "fucks" (the verb, not the noun), and "sega" is both a saw and a handjob so it's anyone's guess how to translate it.
We also have "m'importa 'na sega" or "I care a handjob/saw". This is easier to translate, and I love hearing it in Tuscany accent, top notch.
Also, Spanish has some other: You can change the cucumber with a pepper bell (pimiento) and works the same.
There's also "Me importa tres cojones" or "I care three balls". It's specifically three, because, you see? The word "cojones" is probably the one with most meanings in our language, it has to be three because it's the number for showing an extremely low value thing.
Also ‘me importa un huevo’ (I care an egg)
‘Me la trae floja’ (not sure about how to translate this without losing the meaning… ‘it makes it (my dick) flaccid’?
Number 4 should be: It can rust my ass.
Nah the streetchique version is ‘het zal me aan mijn anus oxideren’. So pretty accurate
If i ever use it that's what i'd say, but i think the original is 'het kan me aan m'n reet roesten' (it can rust on my ass). But i agree ass is a better translation than anus.
Beside this one, Dutch also has an infinite variations of 'i don't give a damn/a fuck' (het kan me geen moer/bout/biet/donder/bal/… schelen) and also we have variations on something similar to the German one (het zal mij een worst wezen) though i'm not sure how to give an accurate translation, something in the along the lines of 'i wouldn't care even if it was a sausage' or more literally 'it could be a sausage to me'
Clearly i care to much to keep my mouth shut lol
The "it can oxidize on my anus" translation would be like saying "Naught fornications bequethed" instead of "Zero fucks given"
I feel like there would be some fucks given in the Greek situation...
We also have "it goes past my ass" in German
A lot more, really.
Es ist mir gleich/ egal/ wurst/ bums/ bumbel/ schnurz/ (scheiß)egal/ schnuppe/ brot/ schwanz/ pisse/ latte/ banane...
😳
Me but similar!
Not really. Greek and various translations across the region: "I write it on my balls."
Edit: "To my balls" also works.
What I learned in italian is a gesture - maintain eye contact while giving two light taps to your balls. Or in my case, lady balls, which people find either wildly hilarious or deeply infuriating.
Double click to open?
Ovaries, or breasts?
Just the imaginary air balls at my crotch.
architkya
"Στην πουτσα μας" is a variation of "στ'αρχιδια μας" and the bee variation is a further evolution of the former
The Spanish one is primarily from Spain. You hardly hear it used in latin America, but it is still well understood. How the venerable cucumber became synonymous with "worthless", I do not know.
My Spanish speaking friends and family use "...no me importa un carajo" which is close to "...do not care a fuck", which is the same vibe as "don't give a fuck". The word "carajo" is very flexible, like fuck, as is "cabrón" which technically means cuck but is often used in many ways both negative and positive, depending on context.
"me chupa un huevo" in Argentina
Italian:
- I don't care a d*ck
- I don't care a dried fig
- I don't care a cabbage
"I shat" - Brazilian Portuguese
Simple. Rustic. Beautiful.
We also have an actual german word for that, in addition to the phrases conveying similar meanings:
Egal.
Meaning something is irrelevant, does not matter, can be disregarded. So, something i give zero fucks about would be something that ist mir (scheiß)egal. Add swear words to your liking for emphasis.
I wonder if that's from/related to the French "égal," meaning "equal," thus "it's all the same to me." I see German has its own unrelated word for "equal," but borrowing another language for cursing purposes is as common as merde, pardon my French.
Ah, so basically French for “6-7” :D
"My dick hurts" (Croatian)
Same in Poland!
Boli me kurac!
Vukojebina is also a beautiful term
Wouldn't that be a possible result from MANY fucks being given?
"zero fucks given" means "I don't care" but is a) profane and b) carries extra connotations. "das ist mir wurst" isn't crude in the same way at all, and I don't think it carries the same implication of keeping cool.
Translating idioms is hard and they rarely translate exactly, but especially if you pick an idiom which is already a niche way of saying something that there are more common ways to express.
If we're talking about profanity, I think I'd go for either
Das geht mir am Arsch vorbei.
- or -
Das interessiert mich einen (scheiss) Dreck.
Anyone who knows Japanese wanna weigh in?
I know maybe 3 dozen words in Japanese and the best I can do is "Nandemonaiya" which is something like "never mind" but could also maybe be used to say "forget about it". Japanese is a super polite language though, so "it doesn't matter" may be about as good as it gets? Also, Japanese tends to throw nouns out to mean a thing is like that noun, like you might call a homebody an "otaku" (house, as in they never leave it) (commonly used to refer to anime fans, as in they stay in all day watching anime) so maybe the word for "shit" or "garbage." Shit, as in just saying the curse (like "dammit") would be kuso (usually the vowels are silent, so it just sounds like "hiss" but with a K (but not "Kiss" if that makes any sense). But "kuso" is more like "dammit," like I said, I wouldn't use it to say I don't care, more that I'm annoyed and bothered.
知らない (shiranai) can be a pretty biting way to say you don't care about something/someone's situation, but it's not vulgar. しらねぇ (shiranee) would be a more vulgar way to say the same thing, that's probably closer. I don't know if there's a metaphorical idiomatic phrase like the other languages in the OP.
For vulgarity in Japanese in general, you should watch this: https://youtu.be/GcjbwkBQeO8
The Finnish genius for language
Can someone tell me the french version of number 3?
Je m'en bats les couilles