It's-A-Me!
this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2026
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Take LSD now
Start depression medication
Stop lifting weights. Your childhood injury will flare up and ruin your life for a couple years.
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won't get better
You fucking dumbass.
Buy bitcoin soon
Don't marry Sarah!
Hold bitcoin decades
Brush teeth more
It really depends on when at 18. On my 18th birthday: "mom's headaches cancer". A few months early wouldn't necessarily save her, especially given the few years chemo bought her, but they might. If it's after the cancer is caught I'd say "come out soon" and point to myself.
Mom has leukemia would have been a good move
Buy Apple Stock
"ALIEN INVASION SOON"
I do a little self-trolling :)
I can't figure out how to prevent 9/11 in 3 words. So, I'll just say "Programming Language: Haskell".
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Point at him and say: "Gay. Invest Zoom." He'll figure it out.
You deserve better.
You're a girl
Google, Microsoft, bitcoin.
You do fine
Don’t stop believin’
Won't get better.
'Read this book' as I hand him a guidebook for the next decade or two.