I'd like Kil'd by Serveral Accidents and ... hmm ... Planet, thanks.
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Shoutout to QI doing a bit on this
Seems more like band names to me... and according to the Encyclopedia Metallum, these are already used:
Stillborn, Aged, Apoplex, Bleeding, Flux, Sores, Burnt, Scalded, Burst, Rupture, Cancer, Wolf, Canker, Cold, Cough, Strangury, Consumption, Convulsion, Starved, Drowned, Executed, Falling Sickness, Fever, Fistula, Gangrene, Gout, Grief, King's Evil, Lethargie, Spleen, Sciatica, Teeth, Thrush, and Worms
"Suddenly" interests me the most. Not a condition or even a means, just a manner.
Like a catch-all for things they didn't understand; heart attack, brain haemorrhage, things where someone's fine one minute, and dead the next.
Afaik, sudden cardiac arrest is a cause of death still used today. In spanish we call it just sudden death.
I would have died because teeth back then, for sure
Apropos "Cut of the Stone". I read a book about history of surgery and one chapter was about a guy who remove his own bladder stone. Back then people didn't have great hygiene and urinary track infections were common. Those would cause bladder stone that would get worse and worse witch each infection. The stone would block the urethra entrance so you would feel you like really need to pee but once you stand up you wouldn't be able to. This wasn't very pleasant so people would try to remove the stones. Typical way was to go through the taint, open the bladder, remove the stone. There's a lot of blood vessels there so survival chances were not great. Doctors refused to do it because patients would die to often and then family would blame them and they had enough shit to deal with already. So you had traveling bladder stone removers. They would do the surgery and by the time patient would die they would be on the road again.
So this one guy, a blacksmith, tried to get his stone removed twice or had two stones removed already, it's not clear. Anyway, he didn't like the traveling stoncutters. So he got a sharp knife, asked some guy to assist him and did the surgery himself.

I am going to die of Planet after I forget my parachute while sky diving.
How'd crackhappy die? Oh you know, PLANET.
Someone needs to post detailed explanation of all those things. I hope it doesn't have to be me.
Found this: https://mediachomp.com/cause-of-deaths-in-london-in-1632/
My favorite: Thrush = yeast overgrowth / yeast infection of mouth (or genitals)
My thoughts are with the single person who was killed by piles. What a pain in the ass way to die.
Considering it was London, I'm surprised death by teeth wasn't more prevalent.
It's 1632, dentistry was was carried out by the same person who did the medical surgery, who also happened to be the person who did the animal butchery too.
Also it's around the time that sugar started to come into the common person's diet from the plantations in the Caribbean and people didn't understand how terrible it was for their teeth. There's skulls of people who died in old age from the 14th century with basically perfect teeth but by the 16th they were rotting out of people's mouths by the time they got to their 30s.
Bit with dog?
Fistula.... I'm scared to search that....
Yeah, you're right to feel that way.
You don't have to. Here, I'll tell you: It's when your asshole sprouts another asshole.
It can also be when toothdecay spreads sideways through your mouth. That'd probably kill you a lot more readily back then
Weird that cancer and wolf are grouped together
Apparently, "wolf" was a metaphorical name for cancers which "devoured" flesh, as opposed to creating tumors, I guess.
...but I mean that's the band name "Cancer, and Wolf"
Seriously though, going over a reddit threat this was on, looks like "Wolf" referred to a fast-growing tumor that "ate you like a wolf" or somesuch.
https://old.reddit.com/r/coolguides/comments/f3c2hi/cause_of_deaths_in_london_in_1632/hkh904m/
I choose to interpret it literally
It's definitely cooler that way, but also maybe in that regard "Cancer" means they were clawed to death by a giant crab?
My votes go for:
- Prest to Death
- Fistula
- Livergrown
- Made Away With Themselves
- Murthered
I'm partial to Kings Evil myself
Bunch of anti-monarchists snuck into the records office 😄
Rising of the Lights is cool
Vomiting worms
Cancer, and Wolf 🤘
Great name for a deathcore band.