this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 23 comments
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[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 16 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Walk outside, and ask, in a really loud, clueless voice:

"Hi, guys! Watcha doin'? I'm just askin', cuz y'know, you guys are out here, and I'm just wonderin' why? Is somethin' goin' on? You guys on official business? Who ya aimin' at? Can I get look? I'm never looked through a scope before, I bet it's wicked cool, can I try? You guys need anything? Water, Doritos? Need to use the bathroom? I bet you do now that I mentioned it, huh? Isn't it funny how that works? So you guys going to be around all day? That's cool, I think I'll just hang out, and keep you guys company, I'll go get my folding chair, sure I can't get you anything..."

They'll leave.

[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 2 points 11 minutes ago

YOU PUT THOSE TRASH BINS BACK WHERE YOU FOUND EM WHEN YOU’RE DONE NOW OK?

They could... you know... just use the back door.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 45 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

Can't get over the white pants.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 7 points 1 hour ago

They camo their upper bodies, and leave their legs splayed out. Just perfect for the target to look out and notice something really weird to attract his attention. Good job.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 6 points 1 hour ago
[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

Professor in the house across: duly noted.

[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 21 points 3 hours ago (4 children)

I'm curious to know why they are there. They can't have much in the way of line of sight from there.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

To feel like tough guys, so they don't cry when their wife yells at them for being so stupid again.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 1 points 37 minutes ago

To feel like tough guys, so they don't cry when their wife

Is out with Jody again

[–] Carmakazi@piefed.social 34 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

They have to justify their budget and military toys so every barricaded suspect situation becomes a 40 man standoff with shit like this. There's probably a Bearcat off on a side street somewhere.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 29 points 2 hours ago (3 children)

Coworker of mine had sniper's set up on his front porch and screw tripods into his railing to hold the rifles when the neighbor's kid had a mental health crisis and threatened suicide.

He was threatening to hang himself, and the parent offered police the keys to the front door after SWAT arrived.

They drove an MRAP through the garage doors, and still ended up using the keys anyway once inside the garage.

[–] vrek@programming.dev 1 points 17 minutes ago

In an apartment complex I used to live there were 2 "police incidents" which were way overkill. A week or two after I moved in I got home and there were easily over a dozen cop cars in the parking lot. Cops were walking around with assault rifles and body armor. Shortly after I got home I got an email from complex stating there was a emergency situation and everyone was to stay in their apartment if home or stay out if not home. After a few more hours everyone left. What was the cause? A homeless man broke into a empty apartment but with no power had no a or fans and died of heat stroke. When the apartment was rented, one of the maintenance people went in to "prep for move in" and found the body.

Second incident was worse. First 2 cop cars appeared, then atleast 6 more. The complex was on a corner of 2 roads and each of those were shut down by cops blocking them. There was 3 trucks with "swat" written on them. Then they started calling out on a PA system to come out with your hands up. This went on for 3 hours. Finally I hear/feel a shake/bang. Turns out they decided to use an explosive on one of the apartments to gain entry. The apartment was empty. I talked to some neighbors and found out some girl broke up with her boyfriend. She and another friend were home when he showed up and decided to beat her for breaking up with him. He didn't know the friend was there and the friend walked up behind him and hit him with a bottle. The two girls then ran out of the apartment. They ran to a gas station and called the police. It was about 10 minutes until the police showed up and about 30 minutes before they shut down the roads, the complex was less than a mile from a major interstate highway. In addition the apartment was a first floor and had a sliding glass door to a small patio area. This meant they could a. See in the apartment and b. Just break the glass instead of using explosive on the front door. C. Just ask the office for a key instead of using an explosive. Seriously this was such overkill over nothing, yes guy was asshole and beating people up is never right but since it was about 45 minutes before the cops blocked the roads he easily could got away and onto the highway....

[–] bisby@lemmy.world 9 points 1 hour ago

If you try to harm yourself we will kill you.

Always loved the logic.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 2 hours ago

The insane amount of stupidity with toxic masculinity for all that to happen when all that has to be done is call the Suicide hotline or send out a therapist

[–] AnchoriteMagus@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

If the house across the street is on a corner, they can potentially see across an intersection to a house on the opposite corner. No way of knowing without the wider picture.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

Maybe to the front door? Probably, they're only one of the cover points.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

I hope whoever this was recorded these snipers for as long as possible.

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 29 points 3 hours ago

Hey dad, somebody stuffed the grass clippings into cargo pants again!

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

‘Clean on OpSec’

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

"poke them right in the butthole." -My inner demons