Throw heavy objects at their heads until they shut the fuck up, then eat the cake while they ponder where exactly they went wrong
this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2026
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The trouble with that strategy is, it'll only work once. If the goal is to never have a birthday celebration again, it works, of course.
Sit and grin?
Apparently it's not to grab a knife like you're gonna stab someone.
Panic.
Conduct them with my fingers.
Fight or flight.
Fast clapping and loud high pitched toddler-like giggles and squeals always gets a fun reaction.
Sigh loudly, roll eyes, scowl judgementally,
...just like Mom.
Crunk.
My manager suggested that the team would sing for me last year in a group meeting. I asked why and she said they should sing because it's my birthday. I had to look on the calendar because she sounded so convinced but it was several weeks until my birthday. Since that she has never suggested happy birthday singing again and I really hope it remains like that.
Be glad it's just Happy Birthday. In Poland there is this weird tradition, where they'll sing for You 4 songs, just to irritate You. Nobody likes it, especially the birthday person but it still happens.
Ah, the tired looks at third one...
Ah, the hateful looks toward that one hyperactive person that began the fourth xD
I get friends that also hate that song.
Krump furiously.
Smile, stare at the cake, and lightly bob your head to the song. If you don't feel awkward with eye contact, then you can glance around the room and look at everyone.
Look pissed off
I put my arms out like I am receiving their energy and look them in the eyes with a crazed smile.
Eat beans
/s
I think I usually just clap with them
Wave your hands towards your face with closed eyes and your head high.
Join in?
Clap and make unwavering eye contact.
Run?