this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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The post got deleted later on, and sadly the Wayback machine was unable to capture all the comments:

https://web.archive.org/web/20230629152756/https://lemmy.world/post/440073

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[–] svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 30 minutes ago

Is this Lemmy's "the cylinder must remain unharmed"?

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 1 hour ago

simple, take imodium.

[–] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 4 points 5 hours ago

He's a soldier going to the field for training. I'd bet my next check on it.

[–] RamRabbit@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

Is it spiders? I bet it's toilet spiders.

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I’ve done this before. I was on a beach in Mexico back in the day for 3 days. Slept on the beach in a hammock. The nearest bathroom was about 30 minutes because it was a secluded beach. There was an outhouse you could shit in and I kid you not it looked like the poop scene from slumdog millionaire. I decided I would not shit till I left.

Honestly I ate normal food and it was fine so I think crippling anxiety is enough to make this possible.

[–] GianBarGian@feddit.it 1 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

You realize you could have shit in the sea, right?

[–] JakoJakoJako13@piefed.social 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I feel like this person needs a portable bidet more than food advice.

[–] RamSwamson@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 4 hours ago

Sounds like a possibility to me. Maybe they have hemorrhoids and using TP for three days will tear that brown starfish to shreds. Not that I would know anything aboot that.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 28 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I was there, Gandalf, 3 years ago. When the bowels of man failed.

[–] Alberat@lemmy.world 8 points 14 hours ago

Lembas bread, one bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man while allowing him to go through multiple security checkpoints without pooping.

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 1 points 7 hours ago

astronaut food designed for low residue

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 3 points 13 hours ago

I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere

Ah, damn. That was my bet.

[–] xerxos@feddit.org 148 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (8 children)

Oh, I think this is a post of a home-shitter ( someone who only shits at home, not at someone else's home, not in public toilets and definitively not in nature ) who tries to go on a multi-day travel. Rather a than getting over his mental block, he tries to prep his body to not shit for 3 days.

Poor soul.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

when I was a child and was sent to summer camp, I refused to use the showers because they were communal

I probably would have tried to not use toilets too for similar reasons, but I had already had to learn to use public toilets because of public school

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 3 points 5 hours ago

Public toilets and communal showers are kind of different tho

[–] phx@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago

3 days seems fairly doable. I know after my stomach has been upset and I've taken Immodium or an equivalent it can be several days before the seal breaks again

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 50 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

have had IBS my whole life. hearing people say this is like hearing people say they only breathe at home. they just. hold their breath. until they get back. Shit WILL exit my body when I'm away from home and I generally prefer it to be in a toilet.

[–] mediOchre@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 day ago (8 children)

i'm at the complete opposite end of the brown spectrum. i poop on average once a week, at most twice a week, thrice if i ate something bad. i have a fecalysis scheduled for today and so far it's been 3 hours of me unsuccesfully forcing my bowels to move lol

[–] yabbadabaddon@lemmy.zip 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

A very cold apple juice + a very strong espresso will turn you into a propelled vehicle in about 30minutes. Hope you read this early enough.

[–] Angrydeuce@lemmy.world 4 points 9 hours ago

I skip the juice, but coffee plus a cigarette is pretty much laxative in my experience lol

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[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 62 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I used to be a home shitter, i used to even be a home pisser at school age, but then i started drinking a healthy amount of water.

I am so so glad i've gotten over the mental block.

[–] FishFace@piefed.social 17 points 1 day ago

At the school I went to if you shat at school someone would bang on the cubicle door and laugh at you. Caused some definite problems for me

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[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 112 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Are fursuits a pain in the ass to get out of or something?

[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 54 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Some of them have ass flaps.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 75 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Which are exclusively for the convenience of using a restroom when necessary and absolutely no other reason. None.

[–] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 14 points 1 day ago

(most) Fursuits are way too expensive to muck up with biological matters. I think the fursuiters I know would smile, close their eyes, and gently pat you for your joke, only to grow aghast as they realize the reality of the suggestion of something that could fuck with their gigantic investment.

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[–] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 105 points 1 day ago (24 children)
[–] rando@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 day ago

Feels like it was only yesterday

[–] EpeeGnome@feddit.online 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I was there, Bootleg. I was there 3 ~~thousand~~ years ago. I was there the day the patience of Lemmy failed. I mean, come on mizu6079, just tell us why you need to avoid pooping for that long!

But yeah, that happened right after I started using Lemmy. I'd been commenting for less than a week, and my first post was a "Chewy, we're home" meme about how all the memes on the topic made me feel as a new user. That account's long dead now, but apparently lemmy.world still has my post https://lemmy.world/post/560966. Federation is neat.

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[–] tixnou@feddit.cl 48 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Is it really a shitpost if it's about not shitting? Wouldn't it just be a post?

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[–] Fmstrat@lemmy.world 5 points 22 hours ago

Are there any instances out there that archive deletes? If it was deleted after I shut mine down, I might have the comments.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago (2 children)

How is the instance of that community located on web.archive.org?

Anyway, the answer the OOP was looking for is sugar.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Going to be hell on your teeth.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

In three days? Pffft.

[–] kif@lemmy.nz 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Not certain, but I'm guessing it's something to do with how archive.org archives. I'd say it probably captured some JavaScript which uses window.location.host, which would resolve to the original (say lemmy.nz) on the original page but web.archive.org on the snapshot.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Update: you seem to be at least partially correct about JS being involved: the webpage source as downloaded from archive.org has a shitton of data in JS structures, while the actual final HTML of that element is nowhere to be found. Meaning the DOM is assembled from the JS data on the fly. Now, the page url, as I predicted, doesn't seem to figure in this, because the data itself contains numerous instances of 'web.archive.org' in it. I'm guessing that Archive's algorithm replaced the site domain to be prefixed with Archive's domain and went a bit overboard about it, which seems then to have confused Lemmy's JS into using the web.archive.org domain as the instance domain when rendering the page.

For better or worse, I don't use stimulants harder than tea, and amn't so young anymore as to reverse-engineer this thing further.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 63 points 1 day ago

"You're full of shit, buddy."

"Yes, but that's not relevant to the discussion."

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