Don't forget killing the last Pope.
this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2026
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I had heard this is the story of JD Vance.
When he was young he "thought he was gay". While he was in college, he met Peter Thiel, a gay billionaire who had come to his campus for some talk or something. When they met, the gay billionaire really took an interest in this man who thought he was gay.
At some point, JD Vance says that he stopped thinking he was gay. Meanwhile, Thiel helped Vance find a job. Actually, several jobs. It turns out that Vance kept getting fired from his jobs, but Thiel kept getting him better jobs every time he got fired. Eventually, Thiel helped JD Vance get into the field of politics, where Vance has been in his pocket to this very day.
Now, from my perspective, it's difficult to explain why a businessman would keep finding better jobs for a person who keeps failing at the jobs unless there is something outside of the job that makes it worth it. So, it seems very likely that JD Vance gives world-class blowjobs, and that he is just generally a failure at everything non-sexual.