this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 113 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I honestly can't tell what's real any more. Which is the whole idea, I guess.

[–] Reyali@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Same. But because I still try to maintain some sense of whatever insanity is happening in the world, I checked and this one is real. 😞

[–] N0t_5ure@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Jesus, I thought for sure this one was fake. Nope.

[–] Wrufieotnak@feddit.org 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Just kill me, before my brain commits suicide after reading more of those "messages".

This is the second of his brain farts, where I seriously thought: 'nope,this one has to be a troll'. And surprise: it's real!

I mean, big fat hug????

[–] 5wim@infosec.pub 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's even "big, fat, hug" with that superfluous comma of pride in creating big boy lists.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

big, boy, lists

[–] smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 60 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Wait wait wait, so he's simultaneously blockading AND opening the strait?

Dafuq?

[–] WesternInfidels@feddit.online 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

We're changing the name to "SchrΓΆdinger's Strait"

It exists in a state of superposition until an oil tanker explodes

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago

of course it has to involve a persian cat to test it.

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[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago

shrodingers strait, it would be a persian cat involved.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 4 points 1 week ago

"Sir, China just went though our blockade."

"Nahhh I letted them go in it cas me big strong and the love me. I'm the bestes like no one has ever bested before. "

[–] jagermo@feddit.org 38 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Oh, China is very happy, that part I believe.

As does the economist

[–] 8oow3291d@feddit.dk 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

China gets 37% of the oil normally going through the strait. So while China might be happy that the US is projecting less power, I assume the oil shortage will still be painful for China in the short run.

https://www.visualcapitalist.com/charted-oil-trade-through-the-strait-of-hormuz-by-country/

[–] jagermo@feddit.org 8 points 1 week ago

Agreed, but they increase their renewable energy Produktion massivley in the last years. While they might feel the shortage, i think the West is less prepared.

[–] DragonAce@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Holy fuck, he really IS declining fast. The language in this post is even dumber and more childlike than normal. We gotta get this fucker out of the WH.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He is no longer writing on 8 grade level. He is writing on 8-year-old level

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He was never able to write at an 8th grade level.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I know. That was a hyperbole :)

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago

the amount of stress hes under to keep epstein news at bay, and coming up with distraction after distraction is taking its toll.

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 20 points 1 week ago

I'm very good at translating idiot speak and even I don't get it. He's declining fast.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago
  • President DJT

AKA

President Don't Jump Theshark

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 17 points 1 week ago (6 children)

That's not from Trump. While it uses his phrasing, sort of, the whole thing stays on one point and is generally cohesive.

[–] AnIntenseMoist@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Giveaway for me was he didn't sign off on a topic like this with a "Thank you for your attention to this matter". But maybe he doesn't like us giving attention to these matters. Who knows.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I'm pretty sure he uses an llm to write a lot of his posts. The ones like this one.

The rest are voice-to-text.

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[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Every time Trump makes a tweet, I cannot gauge whether it's fake or real. How can a nation elect something like that?

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

Oh, hey β€” I've gone through this since his first term.

Yeah I asked my Trump loving office trog what he thinks about all the stuff Trump, Hegseth and the other sycophants say. His response boiled down to 'I don't pay attention to everything they say or do.'

The average Trump voter will not be described as discerning in the history books. It's a shame they've been allowed to be the loudest Americans.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 16 points 1 week ago

Ai, please write the stupidest shit ever about how I'm going to open the straight of Hormuz after I shut it down for a month with a stupid war. Mention Xi in a rudely polite asshole way. Make it sound like I'm 5 and the straight of Hormuz is really straight and hasn't sucked me off. Again the guy is straight, not like Bubba.

[–] Red_October@piefed.world 15 points 1 week ago

Jesus fuckin christ, it's like a child wrote it. I was sure this was fake, it had to be fake. I just wish it was fake.

[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

So because China said fuck you were going through the strait anyways, he's taking credit for their entering? Lol The Nuh uh, is too strong with that one.

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Yeah so apparently China has also been sending Iran some weapons. Cause that's definitely in China's best interest.

U.s so worried Iran would get nuclear weapons and literally created the situation that would hand them more weapons and possibly nuclear tech support from China.

As well as increasing their economic situation by encouraging a toll booth.

I'm happy that Iran is getting ahead, after all the U.S sanctions b.s. But the cost was very high for them.

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[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Trump's tweets become 10x funnier and 20x more sad when you read them in Chris Chan's voice

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Rosechu has no connections to 4-cent_garbage.com, so quit asking.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Spoken like a true toddler.

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[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd like to see Trump fight. It'd be funny.

"I know fighting. NOBODY knows more about fighting than me. I was at the MMZ the other night. Big guys came up to me, tears in their eyes, "MR PRESIDENT, can you give me some advice for my next fight?"

"Don't get in the octagone with everybody's favourite president", I told him. I meant it as a joke. I do that self-depreciating humour, because I'm so humble. Lot of people don't think I am, but I am. I don't like to brag, but I'm the best at self-depreciting. Believe me. Believe me.

Anyway, you could tell from the fear in his eyes he thought I was serious. Which is okay. If I was there, it would be MY ring. I wouldn't want to be in my ring with me either".

[–] jpablo68@infosec.pub 3 points 1 week ago

Everyone just starts crying around donald apparently, specially tough masculine guys

[–] swankypantsu@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

*Women are actually pretty happy that I’ve decided to finally treat them with respect. I’m doing it for them, sure β€” but also for myself, and honestly for society as a whole. This kind of situation won’t happen again. They’ve basically agreed to respond better to me now that I’m acting different. I mean, when I show up, they’ll probably appreciate it β€” maybe not say it outright, but you can tell.

We’re working together now, in a smarter way, and it’s going really well! Isn’t that better than all the conflict and rejection??? BUT REMEMBER, I could go back to how things were before if I wanted to β€” I just don’t, because I’m choosing the better path now.*

[–] gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

...This just cannot be real.

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

… And yet …

*me, punching you in the face:

"Aren't you glad I'm helping?"

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Now open the strait of Epstein you fat fuck

[–] Armand1@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Alright granddad, let's get you to bed.

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[–] shweddy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

He saw money being exchanged for passage and he's such an entrepreneur he copied the idea

[–] heartpunk25@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Because Melania never hugs him off camera.

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