How about your boss brings in a puppy and everybody who likes puppies has to play with it twice a day?
this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2026
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Anything to keep you from talking about how management treats you or how much you're all getting paid for the same work.
I worked at a company where we all got paid very well but they still did the bullshit company "team-building." I never participated on purpose. If I was forced to be present, I did everything I could to make it clear I didn't want to be there. I was considered a grouch and I fuckin' was, because unlike the suits that thought this dumb shit up, I had actual important work to do and a gun to my head in the form of a hard deadline.
Use hydrology websites and just comment that "The river is 2 feet tall today." Et cetera, "the river is flowing fast today. But not as fast as the other day."
#firstworldproblems
Lol really... I wonder what this person's workload is... It seems like the boss was just making light of the concept of quarterly goals, but maybe I misinterpreted it
I would like to know where this river is so I can sail a barge made out of empty plastic containers down it while wearing a Gandalf costume and let everyone hit their 2 things quota in 15 minutes.
Mandatory Fun Conversation
I would love to work there
Sounds like the boss is infatuated with the river and wants to be able to talk about it.
And goes about it the entirely wrong way.
As long as I can mark it as Exceeded Expectations on my performance review if I do it well, I can live with it.
That's what families do, amirite?