Skill issue. Also I refuse to use any tp other than scotts single ply because other thick, textured toilet tissue leaves lint behind.
this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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Best piece of ass I've ever had.
Bagism
Bro fr I dunno why places even try saving money on that 1-ply bullshit; I'm just gonna keep folding until I'm working with 20-ply at that point and guarantee use more total paper overall
Supposedly it's to make it so that no one wants to steal it, which I guess is a problem in some parts of the world where even shitty toilet paper is coveted.
I used to nick it anyway. One day I ran out of tp and forgot to buy some, so just took it from work. Then I got the bug and took another next week, another next week. Industrial sized rolls too. I ended up with a stupid sized stockpile. Then covid happened. Had to keep my curtains shut so nobody saw that I had so so so so so so so fucking much.
You’ve never been that poor?
Poor enough to prefer to shit at work when I can get paid for it and not use up my own TP, but rich enough to buy decent TP for myself at home.
The early COVID times were another matter.
I'm not sure it's stealing that's a primary concern. It's probably more that single ply doesn't clog very often, even when using a ton of paper. It's easier to flush, especially in a commercial type environment with high pressure flushing toilets. Which means less need for EVS to clean up issues, either intentional or not.
I have one use case that actually makes sense. In one of the facilities I work in my desk is in the founders old house from the 1970s and for some reason the waste plumbing is too shallow and at too little of an angle into the main that it freezes and gets backed up every year. Because of the cost to fix it, and because there's probably a reason that it's wrong to begin with (everyone that would know is dead now), we use single ply in that building during the cold months because it breaks down easier.
I have had this image saved on my phone for years and now I finally know where it came from. 
HOLD ON I GOTTA TEXT THIS TO MY WIFE SHE JUST LEFT FOR WORK EVERYBODY STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING
Bidet gang.
At home, sure, but not available anywhere else I go. And as they say, "my boss makes a dollar and I make a dime.."
they make these things called "peri bottles". they hold about 16 oz of water and make excellent portable bidets. i steal them from hospitals (no i'm not joking i take at least two every visit, for what i'm paying i should take a gross). fill them with warm water before you pop in to do your business (if you have time. i recognize i'm talking about luxuries not everyone has. i would keep two in my bag full of cold water at all times and one empty just in case i had the time to get warm water. this is literally why i started carrying a purse back when i was a boy)
Do what I did...
Buy a 3d printer.
Design and print a funnel that can clip under the rim of any toilet that diverts some of the water up your arse.
Do the poopiest of poops.
Clip the AnywayBidet™ on to the toilet.
Flush toilet.
And, BOOM, you now know why I'm banned from every ikea in the UK.
Ok, maybe I should've tried it in the actual toilets rather than the showroom area. Either way the AnywayBidet™ is a surefire way to get people talking!!
Wet wipes make do. Not a perfect approximation by any means, but better than dry wiping with what feels like a wad of sandpaper
They all wreck havage on plumbing regardless of whether they claim to be flushable. Don't be that ignorant person.
Wreck havage
That's a Dathomirian name, for sure.
That was a poem for a simpler time.
And now my boss makes a grand
And I don’t see one cent
And he’s got employees
That can’t pay the rent
Boss makes a billi
I'll die a renter
Drive company vans
Through his data center
i was just commenting above: i know the "portable bidet" as the "peri bottle". i used to be a frequent flier in the hospital and they're a standard hospital supply. i could always walk out with two or three per visit. like shit, i remember walking in once and asking if i could buy some, they sent me to housekeeping, filled my bag up and told me to run for the exit. ymmv but y'know
I think peri-bottles are a bit more contoured/angled specifically for women's parts, especially pregnant women. Whereas the portable bidets are not quite so angled. The targeted hole is slightly different.
the ones i got were all straight, but maybe they gave me different ones because they knew i was aiming for my bootyhole. i've used those electric portable bidets and they just... well they didn't have the pressure to deal with my leavings. i'd have to refill them twice. one or two good skooshes from a peri bottle and i'm clean as the day the doctor made me
Reporting for doodie.
3 ply for the win. But what a shitpost🥳
"It's OK to be a cheap ass, as long as you are not cheap with your ass." -- Me
I've been repeating that since my teens.
Personally I prefer Cottonelle Ultra Comfort, but since I got a bidet, the finger stays super clean and fresh smelling.
This is why crumple > fold
No