this post was submitted on 21 May 2026
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me_irl
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The early bird catches the worm but the early worm gets eaten first. So before you get out of bed you gotta ask yourself: Am I the bird or the worm today?
The second mouse gets the cheese
Bonus fact! Mice prefer chocolate to cheese
Additional bonus fact: Mice prefer raisins to cheese
And cheese isn't even good for them to have. Similar to cats and (cow) milk.
Well... Chocolate is also highly toxic to mice...
And to cats!
And dogs... And most mammals actually
I wake up at 4am to run. But I don't do it because I think it's alpha, I do it because I'm a psychopath. We are not the same.
I do not sleep at all.
I'm not depressed, I'm sleeping to preserve all that alpha apex predator energy for the big hunt later. I'll probably go for the frozen pizza I've been carefully eyeing.
What is wrong with squirrels?
yeah!
They're prey rather than predators, so not alpha.
I work out in the morning but by cycling to work, we are not the same.
I live close enough to bike to work, but in a city where multiple people on bikes are purposely struck by drivers every year.
Ride safe, bro. I used to have the same situation and mitigated the danger somewhat by sticking to neighborhood streets and avoided the stroads. Made the commute a little longer, but worth it.
That's what I do for the most part, however part of the commute is on an overpass over a highway. The city had a "bike lane" put in last year, but all they did to make it "safe" was to close one of the lanes of traffic for the duration of only the overpass. And when I say "close" what I really mean is they painted it green with a little white bicycle in the middle.
So the traffic for cars goes from 4 lanes to 3 lanes, then immediately back to four lanes. In reality people just refuse to recognize it as a bike lane and attempt to run me over the side of the overpass while angrily honking.
I would prob ride to work everyday if it wasn't for that particular overpass. Now I only ride on days I get up early enough to beat most of the morning traffic.
Same!
Well, actually I cycle at work.
On my under the desk cycle.
Do you have a recommendation? I've always been somewhat fascinated by mindlessly putting out some watts while sitting here. Would be even cooler to capture that energy somehow.
Only used one, and that's a fitdesk under the desk cycle. I've had it for close to a decade and my only complaint is something inside makes weird noises as I pedal, so I'd call that a recommendation.
It doesn't capture the energy or anything, just something to burn adhd energy.
This is the way!
And there are way more squirrels than there are bears and lions.
So the routine must be pretty damn good on the species as a whole.
Lies!
"Look at apex predators; they're all lazy" tells me they don't understand why that's problematic in a species whose members that are reading this statistically have access to an order of magnitude more food than they need if they really wanted it, and essentially 100% on-demand – more than any other apex predator could possibly imagine. Humans in developed nations can broadly afford to be so intentionally sedentary at any time they want that they literally die of not moving. (It also tells me they don't understand ecology at all and are cherry-picking the shit out of "apex predators"; orcas can and do travel 160 km in a day. Humans are long-distance endurance runners.)
What a fucking moron if this is supposed to be a real argument. (Edit: And what a contrived joke if it's supposed to be one.)
Edit 2: Okay, since everyone wants to shit-talk calling this out as "not being able to take a joke", here's their Twitter profile. Literally all they do is trite observations about modern life. They really are just that stupid, so in response to the smug bullshit below: in your face.
I believe this is what the old folks refer to as a "joke".
It is an ancient form of communication, the goal of which is to induce laughter in the recipients. Factual accuracy is often not a concern, and in fact many jokes lack peer review of any kind.
Wow what a whiny little bitch
ok