this post was submitted on 21 May 2026
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[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 79 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

Chaotic Bastard is exactly right. Everyone thinks its geese or swans, and although they are truly bastards, roosters are raving rage filled lunatics.

[–] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Fucking hate them and chickens tbh. Eggs are just too good.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Ducks have a marginally better attitude and personality, and their eggs are much better, IMHO

[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 13 points 1 month ago

I disagree, but my dad always raves about how great ducks are. Resilient, resistant to disease, eat everything including garden pests...

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 5 points 1 month ago

I like how many kinds of leftovers can be given to chickens. The only limitation is that they have to get curious enough to peck at it. They'll ignore some delicious shit on their regular food plate if it's the "wrong" shape and color.

[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 month ago

We had only hens, and the older one who was easing off laying started getting roosterish, the first time she charged me with wings spread and pecked my foot for picking up one of the other birds I was very confused.

[–] bajabound@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I'm on around #30 in my life, both ends of the spectrum across that time. Currently have 3, they are all hybrids with silkies and are all doscile. Last batch were barred rock absolute assholes that would go out of their way for a confrontation.

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[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 52 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Got attacked by herding dogs a couple weeks ago. I can confirm they're not as smart as they seem. They left their herd and ran a solid 100m to the road I was walking to stand in front of me and bark. Spoiler alert: I am not a wolf

[–] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 42 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Are you absolutely positive you're not a wolf though ?

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Awooooobsolutely positive

EDIT: Whoops

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 11 points 1 month ago

Obviously not. You're clearly a skinny bear with extreme hair loss.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Are there two wolves inside you?

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

Yes, but they're both vegan

[–] scbasteve@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

He was after the two wolves inside you

*Somebody already made that joke, I'm killing myself

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Don't kill yourself. Kill one of the wolves inside you. Then you still have one wolf

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[–] gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 52 points 1 month ago (2 children)

True stupid :D I love sheep! Their simplicity enchants me.

[–] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Absolutely nothing staring out of those square eyes

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

"Want grass. Eat grass, good."

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[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

While in English usually sheep or sheeple is meant as an insult saying you don't think on your own and just follow programming, in Estonian it's just a playful way to call someone a dumbass. It's something you might say to your significant other or good friend after they make a stupid ass-joke (reverse ass-hyphen xkcd time)

So may we all be sheep on this glorious day

[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 month ago

And if you're cranky "stop being a bear"

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I may be lawful stupid, but I'm a good boy, goddamnit.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

This is waay too fucking perfect.

I've not owned a farm, but I grew around county fairs and often visited and helped out at horse stables or local / friend's farms or ranches or what not.

The only change I could possibly suggest is that somehow a horse needs to be 'big chaotic stupid', but i know that breaks the system, but goddamnit horses are fucking stupid.

[–] Radiantprime@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've watched a horse kick itself in the cock

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

... that... is not something I had previously imagined as possible.

sigh

[–] Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I would argue the horses not being sorted in the "stupid" row...

[–] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Fair but they must be big. I don't have horses and haven't spent too much time with them. Never really liked them tbh.

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[–] snooggums@piefed.world 10 points 1 month ago

There was too much stupid going around so they got pushed onto the other category.

[–] realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip 21 points 1 month ago (5 children)

having one of the most intelligent dog races in "stupid" is a bit offensive.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

My family has a few... They're good at some things, but can be dumb as a box of hair at other things. They're the perfect entry for lawful stupid.

Also, that's a dog breed. Dogs don't have races, other than greyhounds at the track.

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[–] bajabound@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

I have a couple of those. They are smart but do some truly dumbass things sometimes.

[–] ChetManly@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I have one. He's an idiot 😂

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Dog doesn't seem to mind the accusation

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[–] WatDabney@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Seems about right, though I'd note that if you have geese, the rooster doesn't even begin to compare for chaotic bastard.

[–] GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today 10 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Geese can't cause you bodily harm. Roosters will straight up kill you.

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 14 points 1 month ago

Geese have the attitude, but not the weapons.

Roosters are all weapon.

[–] cheeseburger@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"What I remember is the goose giving me the evil eye and then the goose wrapping its wings around my head, and I can't see and I hear myself screaming," she said.

Surman spent five days in hospital after suffering a concussion, fractured cheekbone, face lacerations including a scar under her eyebrow and loose teeth.

She credits wearing a bike helmet and sunglasses with preventing more serious injuries.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/goose-attack-leaves-ottawa-cyclist-shaken-and-scarred-1.2686751

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[–] THE_GR8_MIKE@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I have called my cat all of these at various times. Wonderful.

[–] GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Haven't spent much time with cattle huh. Idk if any animal fits the lawful big square.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

elephants. they mostly choose not to kill. mostly.

[–] GimmeUrBelt@lemmy.today 8 points 1 month ago

Balene whales. The ultimate lawful lifeform.

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[–] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

I have sheep, goats, pigs,ducks, chickens, a couple llamas, dogs, cats and a couple Hereford cows. The cows have been very easy going/playful in the time I've had them.

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