this post was submitted on 16 Jun 2026
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 14 minutes ago

Or maybe in the 1930s an ad agency invented feeding on people's fears by overstating extremely rare or even nonexistent problems.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 29 minutes ago

Just go back farther, to when they used leaves and grass.

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago

The Asshole Splinters

This will be the name of my band

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 7 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

The first bidets came about around 1700 and were manually filled. Indoor plumbing meant recognizable non-poo filled ones in the 1800s, but the modern toilet seat one was 1964, so keep that in mind wrt time travel.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Tip 1. Cleaning your hands is easier than cleaning your ass.
Tip 2. You can wipe with wet hands.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 5 points 44 minutes ago

Tip 3: Never shake hands with Jankatarch

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

The only time I'd really want to travel to is the future.

If I could come back, maybe it would be cool to go back to like pangea times

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago (2 children)

I’m not sure you want to see the future. It’s looking pretty grim from current standpoint. At least if you went back in history you could pick something predictable.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 9 minutes ago* (last edited 9 minutes ago)

If you had the ability to find out what happens in the future, you would rather assume it's bad and not look?

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Eh, I'm an optimist about the future. Not in the idea that the current system will work or anything. But I think humanity generally spirals upward. Maybe I want to skip the next 100 years or so but that's still a pretty long time scale as far as our advancements since the industrial revolution go.

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 11 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

In days of old when knights were bold and toilet paper wasn't invented, they'd wipe their ass with a piece of grass and walk away contented.

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 2 points 3 hours ago

And real gentlemen re-used the grass

[–] skittle07crusher@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 hours ago (2 children)
[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 43 minutes ago

Now with 20% less lead!

[–] mech@feddit.org 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Can I have one that's also free of powdered babies?

[–] brown567@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 hour ago

The powdered babies are included for free 👍

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 14 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Growing up in the Soviet Union we had almost pieces of bark in the toilet paper. Never got a splinter I promise.

[–] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 3 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

What was your expirience in the soviet union? Was it as bad as western media says or it was fine/good/not bad?

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 13 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

I can only speak to my own country, Bulgaria. Some things were worse, some things not as bad. Like we had to wait in line for bread every day but most people in my orbit never went without bread, at least that I knew of. I was a little kid so I'm sure they hid that kind of stuff from me. I got bullied a lot, my mom had ADHD and wouldn't pick me up from school on time so the teachers beat me in retaliation. That kind of shit. I remember people coming in from overseas and sneaking me in a coke for Christmas. They'd sneak in western music and religious stuff. Some of my relatives were sent to camps as political prisoners, most came back eventually. It felt like there was much more solidarity between the people than there is now. Much of that remains.

[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 6 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Romanian here, born in '94, but parents were in their 20s when communism ended. Your experience sounds very similar to theirs

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 2 points 41 minutes ago

I heard they tied onions on their belts, which was the fashion at the time.

[–] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

I think the ADHD stuff was just the norm for that epoch everywhere, at least from what i know from people older than me

[–] homes@piefed.world 7 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Personally, it’s 1928, when modern antibiotics were developed.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Why not just bring some with you? Or learn how to synthesize penecilin from bread mold and really change the timeline?

[–] homes@piefed.world 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

The former would be a limited supply with a shelf life (even modern antibiotics go bad after a few years). The latter— synthesizing penicillin is no easy task. Even if I knew how - which I absolutely do not - it’s among the more difficult things in the world of biochemistry. It’s why Alexander Flemming earned a Nobel prize for it.

And basic penicillin is nothing compared to the antibiotics we have today.

Additionally, I’m not really very cool with altering the timeline

Edit: if I was gonna bother synthesizing anything from bread mold, it would be lysergic acid diethylamide, and then I would go for a nice bicycle ride ;)

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 2 points 41 minutes ago (1 children)

Is that Bumblebee Bandersnatch?

[–] homes@piefed.world 2 points 26 minutes ago

LMAO, no. This is not Benedict Cumberbatch. This is Time Agent Daniels.

Play by actor, Matt Winston

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 29 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

WANTED: Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke...You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own ~~weapons~~ toilet paper. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

[–] MrKoyun@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Gotta go post this on Something Awful

[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 68 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (5 children)

Maybe time travel is real but we're still living at an age where something else is so terrible that nobody from the future wants to travel to our time.

I bet it's because we haven't invented those three seashells yet.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 38 minutes ago* (last edited 38 minutes ago)

Or when time travelers come here we just can't tell, because if they accidentally reveal themselves or screw up in some other way they just jump back again for a do-over until they get it right.

[–] AmyAye@nord.pub 19 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Time Travel to the past

Cough due to allergies to future extinct flowers

Accidentally spready COVID 2089

90% of the world population dies from futuristic killer super flu

You fade from existence because you killed all your ancestors

The paradox causes space time to collapse

[–] MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 5 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

Timelines merged together to "mend and fix" these paradoxes, that’s why we ended in the Mirror-Universe equivalent. Mandela effects are just glitches from the other timeline remnants.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 1 points 36 minutes ago

In my single-timeline theory you never spawn a new timeline or universe, you just overwrite the one.

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[–] sepi@piefed.social 2 points 4 hours ago

Don't threaten me with a good time!

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 38 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

"they still capitalist then? Eww. I'll wait"

[–] felsiq@piefed.zip 6 points 3 hours ago

As much as capitalism is a truly shit system to actually live in, I don’t think it would dissuade time travellers much because it’d make it trivially easy to live like a king with only a little knowledge of the future

[–] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

Maybe they didn't come to Stephen Hawkins' party because they found out that he was a pedo.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Even without that (or if he wasn't, was it clear from what came out that he participated and wasn't just another famous science guy Epstein pulled into his orbit without any kids being involved?), I can't think of a single good reason for an actual time traveler to want to go to that party and plenty reasons to stay away from it, like it being the one party most likely to lead to someone else figuring out time travel sooner and taking control of it before you can.

Though if time travel is possible, I bet it's the branching miltiverse scenario and we're just in a branch where no time travelers have revealed themselves yet. In that reality, there's no reason to avoid his party, other than not wanting to be stuck in a Q&A session with primitive humans. Like I bet any of us would get frustrated going back to the middle ages and how people interested in health won't shut up about fucking humours, muccous, evil spirits, and shit.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 1 points 33 minutes ago* (last edited 33 minutes ago)

Like I bet any of us would get frustrated going back to the middle ages and how people interested in health won’t shut up about fucking humours, muccous, evil spirits, and shit.

For real. If we wanted to listen to that, we could just look up whatever RFK Jr's talking about. No time machine necessary.

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[–] bedwyr@piefed.ca 10 points 6 hours ago

We learned toilet paper from the Chinese, they had it for a long time before that.

[–] heliotrope@retrofed.com 24 points 8 hours ago

Just take your own toilet roll with you. If you get separated from your supply, you probably have bigger problems.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 13 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Not like the fancy grit 80 we use in public toilets today.

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[–] Calfpupa@lemmy.ml 19 points 8 hours ago (6 children)

Bidet life yet again pays off!

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[–] tresspass@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago

If I'm time traveling, I'm bringing my bidet.

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