This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
"I beat the game"
Lmao, people who think marriage is like the final boss of a video game clearly have no idea what kind of life they're in for. You got married, congrats, you beat THE TUTORIAL. Now welcome to REAL LIFE.
I have met newlyweds like this. They don't last. Nothing wrong with celebrating the marriage, of course, but "happily ever after" is a fairy tale for a reason.
Each people grew up differently. I was taught to live my life and be myself at an early age. But as I grow older I realised not everyone were taught the same. I love my mates but two of them are conformists as if relationships are end-all-be-all. They kinda think that there are arbitrary goal posts to reach at certain age.
Is Occam's Razor the right term here?
What I do know is that people in happy marriages or divorce on good terms are often not the ones making the loudest noise.
While it's true that we should advance at our own pace, what's also true is that we shouldn't get comfortable with the idea that things will always go our way, especially as we age.
Often, having a good relationshio or, better, a marriage is exactly what people need in case things happen that would otherwise leave us vulnerable, and it goes both ways.
Sounds like a lot of work. I just date women I find attractive regardless of size and encourage them to live a lifestyle that makes them happy. If a hot chick that's into me is fat I'm just going to be happy a hot chick is into me.
Obviously fake, but what’s the gay angle?
Oh yeah, I remembered they think having a girlfriend is gay because you cucked yourself by having an adult relationship with another human.
There is nothing more gay than sleeping with a woman. She's had a ton of dick and cum inside her, by transitive math, your dick is touching more dick & cum than vagina, this makes it gay.
Sucking a cock however is the straightest thing you can do, that cock has seen tons of pussy, the math tells no lie, you're getting more theoretical vagina in your mouth than real cock.
I was waiting for the end where now shes hotter and dumps him for "chad"
"Aryan goddess"
“Aryan goddess”
Yeah he's dating Anahita. I'd brag if I could pull her too.
Whew my goodness!! Same here!
Daaaamn, did you see that gilded silver bowl?
The first thing I thought was Persian / North Indian woman. So odd that Nazis co-opted that history.
The first thing I thought was Persian / North Indian woman. So odd that Nazis co-opted that history.
Satire but horrendous views on women which now that i say it maybe means it isnt satire given 4chan. Oh wait theyre dating, yeah its satire
Horrible in a lot of ways, but "I'll try and date women who are interested in me and we'll build healthier habits in one another" is a much better outcome than I expect here.
Also, if we're being honest. I needed a push to try and date "in my league" so I could realize that I am worthy of love and build my own self worth to the point that I was a better person both to myself and to partners back when I was a big virgin at risk for incel thinking
The text is satire, but the sentiment exists in the wild and is out of fucking control.
You shouldn't look at your partner as a fixer-upper. Physically, that is.
nobody is set in stone. people change for better or worse
Yes, but if you're dating someone because of who you can change them into you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
not necessarily. a lot of people date people based on potential, and they will leave or stay if that potential manifests.
at least, that's how it used to be. true in 2026 that people increasingly want 'it all' from the get go. which is why folks are so miserable. if you are 25 and expect to date someone making 200K a year, you are going to have a bad time. you should be dating someone who makes 50K who will be making 200K in 10-20 years.
So on and so on. a lot of people are very different physically over the years too. one of my major conflicts in dating was I was trying to improve myself, and my girlfriends didn't want to do that, and resented me for it. they didn't want to eat well, exercise, or invest in themselves. They wanted to just sit around and drink and veg out and thought I was a jerk for wanting to be active and healthy.
Anyway, I'm single now but I'm very healthy, active, and financially secure. most ladies I meet on the dating market are maybe 1 of those three, and they demand a man be all and he has to be jacked and fashionable. It's wild how folks demand so much from others but so little from themselves.
Yeah stupid high standards also aren't what I'm advocating for. I may not be an expert, but I'm happily married.
Being with someone with similar goals to you is important. Going in expecting your partner to have figured everything out is important. But also important is being ok with where they are.
If you go into a relationship with someone who's fat you need to be ok with the reality that they might never become skinny, even if they want to (but also it's a lot of work and plenty of people are ok with their body as is).
I'd never enter a financially tied relationship with a spendthrift, it would stress me the hell out and I'd rather be single. But a partner who struggles with depression, adhd, and other mental issues that can get in the way of life? Yeah I can live with that, though it's important that she not be resigned to it and that she keep trying to deal with it. A partner who isn't as in shape as I prefer to be? Yeah I can live with that, I'd prefer if she be interested in and capable of long walks and going on bike rides, but if not that's ok.
Plenty of chronically single people have too high standards, but getting a fixer upper isn't a happy sustainable solution, figuring out your actual priorities and becoming the sort of person who's attractive to the people who match those priorities is. Or don't, I already got mine.
I mean true.
That said it's definitely nice when people make each other healthier
How fucking objectifying.
Also: "Aryan"
I mean, isn’t the “pepe the frog” used by those types?
Not exclusively, no.
lose my virginity to her
Obviously fake. As if a 4chan user is ever going to lose his virginity.
Does it count if you lose your virginity after you stop visiting 4chan?
Except to fictional guys
Fake and gay.
Fake: anon got laid
Gay: anon went to a gym
squishier girls are cute and adorable and incredibly lovable too :3 (and awesome to snuggle with)
honestly get real anon uwu
Need some padding to survive the winter
Lass needs some extra buffer to survive the English raiders.
What a disgusting piece of text. 🤮
It's anon what did you expect?
Even if this wasn't fake and gay she'd just leave him with her newfound confidence
You don't understand Women's insecurities very well. Her confidence is now tied to OP. She doesn't believe she is a 10, she believes that OP makes her a 10.
Assuming it wasn't fake and gay of course...
no, what she she needs is a muscle mommy to convince her she loves women now and to leave OP for her.
Technically speaking, that is the case. She would be dependent on OP to stay as she is. Eating disorders suuuuuck, but so does codependence.
Doesn't anon mean "but" instead of "and" in the last sentence? It's annoying me how often people seem to mix these two words