rushed
damn. ambos should have taken their time.
this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2026
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*best read in the voice of sir David Attenborough
As EMS arrived they found McConnell had been flipped onto his shell, with his legs flailing the responders were able to flip him back.
Controversy surrounds his age of 84 years old, but others of his species have lived in captivity up to 150 years old.
His Kentucky Republican breed is well known for not only surviving on the typical Republican diet of banks, oil and gas, and occasional telecommunications companies, but also has a diet supplemented from his wife's income streams of insider informed stocks.
I got all excited til I saw the part about "last month". I don't wish death on many, but boy will I be happy once all these geriatrics in my government kick the bucket.
so he’s either already dead or just braindead mush with a heartbeat
if they hide his death until less than ninety days before election he can’t be replaced until mid-terms
of course you know they're gonna try that shit
If only they found him late.
If it helps, proper CPR breaks the ribs andis very traumatic. Being old as fuck, Bitch Mcconnel is guaranteed to be in a lot of pain
Not only that but CPR...is less than 10% success rate. I think it goes up a bit if you're in a hospital already, but if you're having CPR done, you're chances of survival is not super great.
Senate Majority Leader John Thune, R-S.D., has said that McConnell "sounded good" and "wants to be back" when they spoke the day after McConnell was hospitalized.
"He is clearly dialed in to what's going on. He's following along with stuff we are doing this week up here. Very much so," Thune said June 15, ABC News reported at the time.
Bro has been freezing up like a YouTube video on dialup for years now. There is simply no way that he is "clearly dialed in".
Gross
Groß if true
Just let go Mitch
Mason Verger-looking motherfucker
I hope he is gone. He has done more harm to the United States of America, than maybe anyone else in the last 15 years.
You would think all of these medical events would knock the shell off the turtle and prompt an early retirement. Nope. I wish him the worst.
Your ride awaits, Moscow.
New gender neutral bathroom in 3...2...