First wish: I want a perfect body
Second wish: I want a perfect soul
Third wish: I want you to notice when I'm not around
this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2026
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Wow what a creepy weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
You do belong here ❤️
Which is why I must run out the ^dooo-OOOOO-ooorrr^
Karma police, arrest this man!
Surely the perfect body would have some extra legs. And some kind of armored skin. And eyes that can see in multiple directions. Maybe some kind of powerful claw and a... wait a second I'm a crab aren't I?
I have this device that can tell, please step into the steam over there. Yes yes, ignore the pot and lid.
A real genie would have turned him into a crab.
Here I thought the punchline was going to be a dead body he had to deal with.
Did the first wish.. work?
If wishing to a genie created by my own mind for myself to have a perfect body actually convinced me that my existing body is perfect then my second wish is going to be for everyone to like me.
It doesn't matter that it wouldn't change anything in anyone else's mind, the self-esteem boost from believing that yourself would be life-changing.
It's a one wish genie
...Or is his body perfect now, and the hallucinations are part of that?