I'd say twenty-three miller lites are the bare minimum needed to make baseball enjoyable.
this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2026
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What do you need to pre-game to make the Miller Lites enjoyable?
No self respect.
A dark and troubled past.
Miller High Life of course, it's the champagne of beers
Baseball is the socially acceptable background noise for sitting in public and drinking beer, tbf
Baseball and beer goes together like bus stops and hard liquor.
Like barrel fires and fentanyl
Slow pace allows bullshitting and people watching
Yeah, but that doesn't apply here since he was drinking Miller Lite, not beer.
Ballpark dogs also help.
Unnecessary tangent: the main thing that makes them so good* is that they wrap them in foil before handing them to you, letting the bun heat up and steam a bit. You could microwave a cheap bun for a few seconds at home and get the same experience while saving several dollars. Or grill/toast it for one that blows ballpark dogs out of the water.
* Besides cooking them well enough, which most people don't do because the perfect hot dog takes multiple times longer than the instructions say. Simply heating them through isn't enough - blistered is better!
Air fryer has totally changed my hotdog game, shit's unreal
You can also (lightly) score them down their length before cooking for more surface area (the cuts will pop open during cooking) and a firmer texture. Even one line makes a huge difference in how they come out.
It's basically the same thing as that spiral cut technique that was going around a while back, but doesn't need a skewer and requires a hundredth the effort.
You know your dogs!
Air fryer changed my cooking game in general
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Yet nothing makes miller light enjoyable. Monkey piss.
Back when I used to drink beer, I never understood lite beer. It's just beer with added carbonated water. I preferred drinking 1 normal beer vs swilling down 2 or 3 lite beers like a lot of my friends did.
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That came up in LearnedLeague at one point. It’s candles, isn’t it?
Yes
$300 for water?!?!
Who could sit through a baseball game without 23 beers?
Better make them Lite, though, I'm on a diet.
46 comments and nobody's suggested that's how many Miller Lights you need to get a buzz?
Miller lite is 12 fl oz, 4.2% ABV. A baseball game is typically 2.5 hours long. Assuming a 200 lbs man, and using the calculator.net BAC calculator, drinking 3-5 beers over the course of the game will leave him in the "buzz" range between 0.02% and 0.06% BAC at the end of the game.
Consuming 23 beers over the course of the game will result in a 0.38% BAC, which calculator.net helpfully describes with:
"Stupor, central nervous system depression, loss of understanding, lapses in and out of consciousness, low possibility of death"
In metric:
Miller lite is 0.355 liters, 4.2% ABV. A batball game is typically 9 kiloseconds long. Assuming a 90.71847 kg man, and using the calculator.net BAC calculator, drinking 0.3-0.5 decabeers over the course of the game will leave him in the "buzz" range between 0.02 metric% and 0.06 metric% BAC at the end of the game.
Your calculations are off. Most ballparks stop selling beer in the 8th inning.
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In metric:
Whew, thank you, this was getting so confusing until that point.
Also,
“Stupor, central nervous system depression, loss of understanding, lapses in and out of consciousness, low possibility of death”
Those appear to be desirable for a significant subset of US people nowadays from what I see online.
90.71847 kg man
This man is 200 imperial pounds, 0 imperial ounces and 0 milligrains.
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Okay, but unless these are gourmet nachos, gourmet hot dogs, and gourmet mountain dew, this is still gouging before the Miller Lites.
I highly doubt it. It's probably like $5 for a single 12oz can. The kind you could buy a 6 pack of for the same price.
In that same breath, $13 beers are just insane. There's no logistical cost or reason for them being that expensive other than they have you restricted as a captive audience. It doesn't cost them nearly that much, but you'll pay it, because otherwise it's nothing. And baseball without beer should just be classified as a genevia level form of torture.
One of my oldest schemes was to make a sort of like russian hat, those high fur ones, and sneak a six pack in there, hooked up to tubes, where you can sneak the tube down to your mouth and drink. For football more where the temperature is colder.
But it could be done with any sort of diaphram. I think military guys carry like a bladder of water, something like that on the belly with loose clothing made to look like you were overweight would work, at least for us skinny people.
Depends on how crazy security is. I've seen it done with a CamelBak, dark fabric, and a decoy water pouch. Then again I've also seen a guy that brought so much beer through security that he built a little pyramid of cans on the seat in front of him.
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Yes that’s stadium pricing. Pay $10-$15 for a hot dog that makes the Costco $1.50 hot dog look gourmet.
The Costco $1.50 hot dog is gourmet!
Or at least it was, until they stopped giving out sauerkraut and brown mustard <grumble, grumble>
But seriously though, Costco hot dogs are objectively excellent, regardless of price.
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HA-HA, "he buy too many beer."
Ok but there's NO FUCKING WAY a $3 trash beer should be $13, and they give you those small ass Dixie Cups.
They're overpriced to keep people from drinking more but also I agree with you.
The only reason that anybody should ever have 23 beers at a baseball game, is if it's .10 cent beer night.
Or they're watching the Orioles play.
Maybe his kids shouldn't drink so much beer.
Someone needs to learn about "pre-gaming". I'm a baller on a budget.
I mean 50+ dollars for hot dogs nachos and some sodas is still highway robbery.
Not in the LA sport scene. It’s pretty normal. Want to live in an amazing area you will be paying for it. Rams and chargers same thing
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Try this one trick to save on your drinking bill!
spoiler
$13 beer is why I bring my own booze to sporting events!
They could have easilly had me get 8-14 beers at $5 a piece and make money, but instead their greedy asses get $5 for a pop to be used as mixer. Bastards!
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Four Mountain Dews is not healthy
23 beers, however... well, it's Miller Lite so it's basically slightly alcoholic badly flavored water.
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That could easily be 6-8 adults and 2 kids (we told them not to bring the kids, but they never listen).
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And you can only run a tab in a box lol
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