Needs a cheat sheet for his own name. I like this guy.
this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2026
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I don't know what that's from, but the premise of "person thinks name tag is for their benefit" alone would be funny enough even if it was actually a name tag.
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Used to get so black out wed write our address on our arm and just point to it when the taxi or cops came.
Probably not his name, but still solid
The name was my favorite part. Like he's the worst spy imaginable.
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$75k salary, a house, a boat, a lake house, and a trust fund. What year is this?
This is Mississippi, Meridian; $30k is middle class.
"a house" Shares a duplex with a drug dealer. "a boat" Dealer took a guys boat who racked up debt, but it's sitting mostly in your backyard. "lake house" Their street floods regularly. "trust fund" He trusts the money he keeps hidden in the back of the bathroom sink is still there.
Debt is a hell of a drug
Doesn't matter what year it is if your parents are stacked.
Pace yourself, 5 beers an hour lol
Sounds more like he's in sales than finance.
Highlighted
implying he regularly exceeds five beers per hour
it's been a while since I had a drink, just over 5 years
but a twelve pack and some shots lasted about most of the evening for me
Guess I wasn't much of a drinker?
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Really hate when I forget my own name in the middle of a date.
He's drinking 5 beers/hour, it's a good precaution.
Getting your legends mixed up is bad tradecraft
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Disclaimer: i recognize this post is a joke
You will never find the Honda you're shopping for if your filters are set to Toyota
But it's still fun to drive around town.
Har har ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ
I bought my toyota before he went crazy.
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"Astrology is such bullshit. Flowers hate sex, so they get bees to do their dirty work. I've never heard of the Colleen hoover, is it a good brand? Primus sucks. I feel I could be a main character on Grey's Anatomy. I like you woman, you don't talk much, unlike that Taylor Swiftmouth."
Why am I single?
Primus sucks!
I've really been wanting to get into astrology. Do you want to go to the local telescope depository?
All you need is a star chart and a sense of wild abandon.
What's your sign? Born in March? Yes, looks like you're an... Ursa major! What good fortune!
Yes yes sign of the empty bowl: you will forever be searching for the perfect cup of pho. beauty lies in front of you, perfection is in love and in your family. you must harvest [5 human hearts] for your broth for perfect pho.
i'm really not sure about this translation
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Neurodivergent people: where can I buy this?
The real trick to relationships for neurodivergent people is that you REALLY need to date other neurodivergent people.
It's so much easier than having to explain why you need a nap after the neighbor set off fireworks in the middle of the day after it interrupted an attempt to mow lawn.
For anyone windering. Its called a "wrist map pouch".
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5 beers and hour max? Now that's a responsible man.
Nice to see Violet is getting back into the dating scene.
If pacing yourself is five beers an hour what is Michael's regular intake?
4 beers.
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Honestly, more men should wear thick soled shoes on causal dates. Women have so much help to boost their natural attractiveness; we gotta even the playing field.
get your shirts tailored. if you can't afford to tailor your date night shirts, buy cheaper shirts and get them tailored. secondhand and tailored looks better than new and not fitting you perfectly.
I wear sleeveless shirts. Got to show some of that side moob.
Balance is being restored. All aboard the hammertrain choo choo
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Nah, just spend the week before the date going over all that stuff in your head over and over and over, making sure it basically the only thing on your mind. Practice ALL the conversations you're going to have. over and over again.
Then when things don't go exactly as rehearsed, panic and blurt out something stupid. If they laugh, they're a keeper. And if they don't leave it means they have flag color blindness.
Perfect system.
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5 beers per hour?
Man I'm old but even when a wasn't old 5 beers per hour would have me pretty trashed.
That may be asking the jokes involved.
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Five beers an hour WHILE there's a tequila shot right next to him
That's just to get up the nerve to drive over there.
... Wait...
ok, in which freedom units do I have to think, such that 5 beers/h falls under "pace yourself"?
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