So if I ever meet people like them I just hit them with the Shakespeare didn't write his own plays conspiracy. There is absolutely no evidence to any of it but if you double down on it these idiots go absolutely bonkers.
this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2026
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I'm a woman with a STEM PhD, and several of the guys I've dated have decided to prove they are smart enough to date me by looking up my publications from grad school (20 years ago now), reading them, and then trying to impress me by trying to poke holes in them or otherwise making me defend them on the spot.
That tactic is now an instant method to get me to end contact. It betrays a deep insecurity with my having expertise greater than theirs on any topic, even ones I have decades of work in. No Jimmy, you can't become my peer by reading a few papers. I don't think you are dumb, but I'm not spending time with you to massage your ego about your insecurity. Byyyye
This is the most toxic male behavior ever. It has all the hallmarks - arrogance, insecurity, and enough 'subtly' to seem 'ok' at first, only for it to be turned into something terrible
several of the guys I've dated have decided to... [look] up my publications from grad school
That's so sweet! It's nice when people make efforts to engage with your interests
trying to impress me by trying to poke holes in them or otherwise making me defend them on the spot
...nevermind.
What the hell is with that level of insecurity. My wife is smarter than me, it was pretty clear pretty quick, most people realize she's smarter than them within a few hours of conversation. If you can't handle dating someone smart you desperately need to get the fuck over yourself. But also you can just leave! Or find a constructive way to deal with those feelings! Sigh.
Like I get insecurity about academics, my life in early adulthood was rough and resulted in me leaving after my undergrad instead of staying to the minimum of a masters degree that was expected of me. But I can't fucking imagine trying to deal with that by attempting to poke holes in a partner's achievements.
Some guys are so sexist that a woman knowing more than them about any subject gives them a ton of insecurity, because it makes them feel like they're losing to an "inferior". That's basically the whole explanation.
Some people mistake knowledge for intelligence
many also mistake arrogance for confidence
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Cellini so important that it's listed twice.
Cellini so important I never heard of it in my life.
Pathetic. I don't even talk to people who haven't read Cellini's complete works at least thrice.
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Bare minimum for holding a conversation: don't be like this guy
I'm sorry do we have medieval Italian political satirists on the table for basic conversion? the crazy thing is, I've read books by all the individuals mentioned, and most of it is very old, and very specific to it's time, and largely entertainment. this is like someone 500 years from now saying they can't hold a conversation with someone if they don't have a deep familiaity with the deeper meanings of The Simpsons and Family Guy and how they impacted society.
You wrote Cellini twice, idiot.
That's a literary technique called "anaphora", or in layman terms, "repeating shit", it's a highly advanced technique used to emphasize the importance of something, his use of it is actually a demonstration of how much of a big brain smart boy he is
/j
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Intelligence is hot, arrogance is not
Meanwhile, I imagine the actual historians and scholars who study and teach of the classical world professionally rarely feel the need to drop lists like this.
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My guy hasn't even read his own list.
Bare minimum to enjoy a beer around a campfire: ACDC, Rolling Stones, Lynyrd Skynyrd, White Stripes, Dire Straits, Genesis, Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Kenny Loggings, Gorillaz, Jefferson Airplane, The Animals, Bon Jovi, R.E.M, Bonnie Tyler, Eminem, 50, System of a Down, Rage against the Machine, Rob Zombie, Nirvana, Papa Roach, Tenacious D, Dorothy, Floggin Molly, The Subways, Bush, Disturbed, Wolfmother, Guns and Roses, Scorpions, ZZ Top, Armand van Helden, Die Antwoord, Billy Idol, Fleetwood Mac, Ram Jam, Eagels of Death Metal, deadmau5, Foreigner, Daniel Norgen, The Weekend, Cari Cari, Shakira, Cher, Gaga, Rihanna, Michael, Prince
Name 5 songs
thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck
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Twinkle twinkle little star
Itsy bitsy spider
Mary had a little lamb
Jack and Jill
Row, row, row your boat
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"Guy who keeps a Rubiks cube in a display stand on his desk at work so he can explain it's not that hard to solve them" energy.
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Bare minimum for holding a conversation: Cézanne, Renoire, Rembrandt, van Eyck, David, Vermeer, Fragonard, Turner, Courbet, Matisse, Kahlo, Picasso, Basquiat, Richter
hey look, i can gatekeep my special interest, too! 🤦
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Big Dictionary Energy
I used to have a friend like this. He was always acting like a condescending prick to everyone for not knowing as much about his favorite books.
I don't talk to him any more.
I had a friend like this, too. I have a memory of him saying “uncultured swine” because I enjoyed Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and thought six hours of the Godfather sounded awful.
That was highschool, though. He turned around over the next few years; now we’re thirty and I happily see him every week because he’s our DM. I’m not saying you were wrong to stop talking to that dude, not at all you gotta set boundaries, just wanted to say that there is at least one example of growth!
That hits very close to home.
Unfortunately my friendship with said person ended up blowing up, because he had never had that period of self reflection and course correction.
I'm glad it worked out for you and your friend though.
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Hopefully in 10 years, he will read this and cringe, although it sounds like he’s actively driving away people who think differently and would call him out on his bullshit to help him grow as a person, so maybe not.
Why Cellini twice? Also, this guy sounds like a real douche canoe
Cellini underwent mitosisini.
I have an advanced degree. I don’t think I know/nor do I want to know everything. But I’m an expert in my field. Outside of that, I like to consume fluffy, shallow media. Because my work is very hard with high burnout and depression, I can’t be super serious all the time. So, I have stayed single after my marriage because it was always “you think you know everything” variants any time I engaged in logic. I don’t want to be run down by people who are supposed to care. I haven’t read classics that often because I simply find them way less interesting than watching JJK. So it’s like being trapped in this space of super serious or super aggrieved potential mates, and as I’m getting older…dying alone is my only sane option.
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Imagine doing this with any field other than humanities and you'll see how ridiculous it is.
Like are you talking to a cohort in your weirdo western canon circlejerk college program? Because otherwise you might have to be flexible about the where the conversation goes. And then you might actually learn something rather than just do keyword association bingo to "impress" your conversation partner with your incredible knowledge.
It's edumacated, not edumacted. Get it rite!
Compleete side track. I have met a lot of people with "advanced" degrees who were total idiots. Guy/girl/whatever, doesn't matter. And advanced degree means you have a peice of paper. And that just means you convinced a few people at so,e point that you knew something about a very specific topic "usually". I knew calculus at one point. I don't know any of it now.
Dude looked up "famous old authors" and started listing his search results.
A great example of someone that can't have a conversation is someone that thinks those are deciding factors.
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I meet none of those criteria and I actually wish that would stop these people from talking at me.
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