None of the above, I started on the PSone.

None of the above, I started on the PSone.

prolly the PSone
The Switch is ARM (nvidia tegra x1) while the Deck is x86 (amd zen2?). There's translation involved. Not saying that will guarantee a slowdown, but as @FireWire400 said, if the emulator is shit power won't help much. My oc'ed ryzen 5600x could barely run switch BOTW at 15fps when it first released (though that was arguably still better than the experience I had on my Wii U... shudder)
PMed
edit: hint - try 'firmware' instead of BIOS in a search
Hell would have been too much like a vacation spot for him. Had to send him to the good place to properly torment him for eternity.
They added sources through the article, including a youtube interview between two Microsoft execs, so I'd say its a least plausible.
Oh my bad I thought we were talking about the entire Ars team, not the individual author.
"malpractice" would have been not puling the story/issuing a retraction.
Journalistic integrity? On my internet? Well I never.
I was very off lmao, it’s like 300mg daily not 3000. And yeah it’s aspirin. https://www.npr.org/sections/shots-health-news/2026/01/02/nx-s1-5665112/trump-aspirin-325-81-mg-low-dose-cardiac-stroke-heart-attack-bleeding
I honestly can't tell what's satire with him anymore so forgive me if this was a joke, but I saw a quote where he said he takes like 3,000mg of tylenol daily, against his doctor's advice, to keep his blood thin because "who would want thick blood?"
do you know if there was a way to fix the Dreamcast laser? I was like 19 when mine started failing and I think I just kept turning up the voltage pot a teeny bit to fix it for a while until it eventually burned out.