this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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Not trying to argue so please please dont take it that way, just wanted to add anecdotally that my wife says the same thing, yet more often than not when I pass the kitchen the waiting time thats allegedly being used for other cooking related tasks and cannot be reallocated to cleaning as she goes is actually being used to surf Insta, Pinterest, or Etsi lol
And also to be extra clear, I could care less what she does when she's cooking dinner up to and until the point that the deal is that she cooks and I clean. Since I genuinely do clean as I go when im cooking and she's cleaning, I feel like she's violating the terms of our agreement when her cleaning up behind me always only takes her 10 minutes yet whenever im cleaning up behind her Im dealing with so many pots and pans that the water heater gets tapped out halfway through and im still standing in front of the sink over an hour after I started cleaning up the unholy tragedy that is often left behind in her wake.
When two people are cooking the same basic meal and the cleanup time is orders of magnitude higher depending on who is cooking the meal, thats a conversation worth having in my book lol
Lol. I think for regular cooking, post-meal cleanup needs to be done by whoever cooked, for this reason. Because even though I don't think cleaning as you go is always feasible or making a big difference, it certainly can be done or not, by the choice of the cook, and that is unfair.
My partner and I take this approach and are very happy with it. Actually we take it further by having a whole week each of cooking, and so many associated tasks like wiping down kitchen surfaces, shopping, etc, alternate also on that cycle.
Maybe you could try a different deal. My other half and I also used to have the same disagreement. Now, the one who cooks also does the cooking-related cleanup, and the other one takes care of the rest.