this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2026
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Yes, wake up Sheeple! Don't believe what you see, listen to this story I ~~made up~~ uncovered by doing my own research on social media.
Here is what "apparently" happened:
A man who lies about everything every time he opens his mouth attends his very first WHCD after announcing that he will be there many days in advance
It is canceled because, "as shown by multiple different sources a man sprinted into the area with guns". Nobody could possibly want to attack the President so this is clearly fake.
The seperate security teams for the VP and President were able to clear their egress routes at different rates so they did not leave simultaneously. There must be a reason, I don't have any relevant domain knowledge to explain this so I'll assume that it is part of the ~~conspiracy~~ plan.
The shameless opportunist doesn't waste time in spinning the incident in ways that politically benefit him. As we all know, Trump typically observes a period of quiet reflection after major incidents involving himself so it is unusual that he would start posting on social media immediately.
If only you didnt have a boot in your mouth you would see that what's really true is this complete fantasy narrative that we've invented where a group of people have ~~conspired~~ worked together in secret and orchestrated all of these events perfectly so that they only appear to be a foiled assassination attempt.
What you all would see so clearly, again if the boot wasn't in your mouth, is that this wasn't the failed assassination attempt of an unpopular President!
No sir! It was a secret ~~conspiracy~~ plot orchestrated by every news organization, law enforcement agency and the President to fake an assassination attempt so that Trump could build a ballroom.
If you had as much tinfoil on your head as I do then you'd see the Truth!!!
Don't worry dear reader. I, too, was ignorant until some angry teenager hurled enough insults at me that I was convinced.
This wasn't an assassination attempt, it was an interior decoration coup! Wake up Sherple!
Okay liberal.
What a skibidi insult my dear broccoli head, I'm sure this will slay at school. Go off queen.