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I am also neurodivergent, and it is very painful how our behavior can be misinterpreted. I'm not advocating for white guys to be discriminated against. I'm saying that given the current administration's ambitions to create a nation to serve white men, any white men who don't fight back will be assumed to be on board. It's not always fair, but I don't think it's realistic to expect people to be more nuanced given human history.
It would just be nice if it ever felt like I wasn't standing naked out in the middle of no mans land. I generally don't have any community that provides protection even when I need it and this particular conversation thread is a good example of why. I can't go into the spaces or communities where I most identify with others experiences without being treated for what I appear to be, and even if I wanted to capitalize on being being a white dude (I really don't), it doesn't take very long before I piss off the wrong person or make problems by pointing out how something isn't OK.
If/when things really do go sideways I fully expect that I will be one of the first individuals to be put on the proverbial trains because I'm target. No one is going to show up in support of me.
That's all I'm saying.
Find community with antifascists and feminists. Reject the patriarchy and do the work to tear it down. I'm a white guy, or at least close enough for appearances, but I don't let it hold me back.
It's the guys who just try to passively absorb all the benefits of patriarchy without doing the labor to dismantle it who I suspect will be judged retroactively.
That's the problem I'm trying, likely failing, to communicate/point out though. All other things being equal those groups and types of people tend to be less receptive to my opinions and perspectives on things just because of what I am even when they have known me for a while. I have experienced on more than one occasion someone getting upset with me for pointing something out where when someone else who wasn't a white dude said almost the exact same thing verbatim they accepted it without an issue.
People are people and dumb tribalism and prejudice is present in almost every space and I am also hardwired to detect it and call it out when I see it. Keeping quiet about it and just watching it happen makes me very agitated and takes a lot of mental energy to keep in check. So take that in combination with the above and well....
I'm tired boss. Not tired of fighting for others' right to exist, I'll do that every day. I'm just tired of fighting for my own.
Maybe that's not a place for your opinions to be given prominence? Maybe it's okay to follow thems and femmes into a community before asserting your perspective.
I know that's probably what you're trying to do, and I know it can be difficult even when you're trying your best. I try to remember that a lot of the people who I want to accept me have struggled to find acceptance in patriarchal heteronormativity, often with even more difficultly than I have faced.
I guess all I'm really trying to say is that righteous resentment can be misread as tribalism, but it you really dig into the subject I you'll find we're all in this together.