this post was submitted on 28 May 2026
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Mid-forties are a decision point. It's when you decide to either get healthy, and stay healthy the rest of your life, or... you don't.
Your body starts falling apart faster if you don't maintain it. Unlike the years before, the health losses are forever.
Fair warning.
Yeah, I'm in my very early 40's now and after being really skinny for all my life, I'm suddenly getting a beer belly
Having some emotional hardships in the last 2 years didn't help with that either.
So, my first step will be to stop drinking and smoking daily, and start to do some sport, with surfing on holidays being the motivation.
But every time, I'm getting back from a (usually demanding) business trip, I can't do anything, but lay flat.
Like many times, I'm now suffering with a fever and some sinusitis since a week as I got back home.
Every fucking time, I've build up some physical condition, I'm getting sick with something and seemingly lose everything I've won.
This is really frustrating and I'm not sure, how I can break that cycle.
Obviously food (besides stopping to drink and smoke) has a major impact.
But as my wife is a vegetarian, everything I'm cooking is usually vegetarian and healthy already.
On business trips though, they aren't those romantic business trips with good food, wine and just networking.
I'm working in industry warehouses and all the restaurants around are usually rather shit.
I usually don't have lunch, as it makes me too tired in the afternoon. So I tried to have something like Soylent (in my case, I stuck with Plenny + milk and fresh fruits instead of just water) and that felt better.
But it gets quite boring after a few months.
I think, finding a goal, like being able to surf and not just die breathless on the board, is the way to go for me.
But every time, I start for such a regime, I'm getting sick and it feels like everything was for nothing, because all the condition I've build up is seemingly lost again...
Would be very much open for suggestions, because I can't really find a way out, but I have to.
I'm getting more and more unhappy with myself.
It sounds like you could be pushing yourself too hard and too often. I find that typically happens when I've trained hard for about 2 months without a proper deload period, where you continue to workout but reduce the effort by like 75%. Recovery is extremely important.
Diet can have a huge impact on your recovery and fatigue levels. You might be lacking in the nutrition area so its probably worth having a consult with a Dietician - not a nutritionist.
Also water, it can actually help with energy levels if you drink the correct amount of water that your body needs.
Stick with it mate, your body with adapt in time. Just take it easy on yourself and give yourself small goals that you can achieve without specific timelimits. Goals like, I'll go to the gym twice this week or I'll get to bed by 8pm etc etc - nothing huge but its more behavioural goals rather than saying I'm going to squat twice my bodyweight in 2 months or something.
Thank you!
Yeah, when we go surfing - the 1-2 weeks a year, when we're able to travel - I'm really over doing myself.
I find it really hard to recover the older I get.
When I was younger, I had sore muscles as well, but a day going slower was usually enough.
Now I don't think, I'm pushing myself, but the soreness builds up and I need days to recover.
And I can't enjoy the sort in my holiday.
This year, we plan to go in September.
So I'll start training up with some back, hip and shoulder exercises, which I need for my back anyway.
And then start to add up step by step.
Hopefully that works out better :-)
Diet-wise, I just need to get rid of the booze.
I really like my beer, but I think, the party's over now...
I don't know if it's at all possible for you and depends on where you live and work, but I try to integrate "little sports" in my daily life. I try to cycle and walk to places as much as possible, instead of bus or tram. Try to use staircases instead of elevators. Etc. It can be small things, but easier to keep up than a real sporty regime.
Yeah, that's a good thing!
By bike I'm much faster at the warehouse with by test station and during summer I do that.
Only in winter and with rain, I use the car.
And you're right, that already seems to make a difference.
Regarding your hint with the stairs:
Doing that already.
In hotels I'm using the stairs to train myself a bit and at home in only in the first floor (well, 1,5 because if the entrance stairs to the house)
It sounds childish, but since if got a SmartWatch, it motivates me, that I can see the daily/weekly statistics of how many stairs I took.
Gamification really seems to work ;-)
You're aware of all the changes you need to make, or at least you have a strong intuition. All of my lasting adaptations have been built on tiny increments gained over time, and only from a place of love. Be kind to yourself. Also, if you're not already looking at it, strongly consider your sleep hygiene. Good, consistent sleep is the base of the pyramid. No lasting change, especially when it comes to one's physical condition, can be sustained if your sleep is shit.
Thanks for the kind words :-)
Sleep is probably an issue as well, yes ...
I'm often on business trips and my work schedule isn't set in stone.
If a customer needs help, I'll be up at night.
On business trips, I don't have any free day and work through - and with often changed times, as I can't change anything during production, but can only monitor.
So I need to do the changes at night and if I change anything on the weekend, I need to be there at Monday morning (5-6) to monitor the production start.
I think, changing the stuff I do in my free time, could help me to handle this work life better.
I'll start with little things now, as soon as I've got finally rid of this fucking flu...
Starting to lift was the best decision I ever made at 40
I really, really wish I could get back into it. I had some severe back injuries and now I have days where I can barely stand. Physical therapy helped a bit, but they have said that some risky (and very expensive) spine surgery is my best bet to get back to semi normal.
What are you looking at, disc replacement?
From what I understand, yes. I am not really onboard with that plan so I am just trying to continue doing what I can of the exercises that my physical therapist gave me and hope that it can alleviate a bit of the pain and periods of immobility.
That's rough. I'm not sure what you can/can't do safely, but in my amateur opinion building up your posterior chain is the best thing you can do to stabilize your back, especially if you sit a lot
Seriously! I have the best physique I've ever had and look five years younger. It costs me three hours a week and a little effort.
Care to share your workout regime?
I have a real problem of keeping it up for more than 2 weeks...
3 hours a week sounds manageable though
I researched the shit out of various programs and you'll quickly learn there's a lot of advice, opinion, and lore in the world of lifting. What I concluded was that all I needed were dumbbells, a barbell (optional), access to a leg press, lat pulldown, and a seated row machines. All staples at any gym. For a home gym you can replace most of these machines with dumbbell alternates.
The last two work muscles you just can't access as efficiently with free weights.
I started with whatever felt easy enough. My beginner dumbbell press weight was 20lbs, dumbbell fly was 5lbs, as examples.
I usually do these in 3 sets of 8 repetitions taking a one minute break between sets.
Monday – Legs + Abs
Squat (Quads/Glutes) 45+10 Weighted Lunges (Quads) 30+0 Weighted Hip Thrust (Glutes) 60+10 Leg Press (115+10) Declined Overhead Weighted Sit-up (Abs) 10+15 Standing Calf Raises (Calves) 135+25 Dumbbell Romanian Deadlift (Hamstrings/Glutes) 35+5
Wednesday – Push (Chest/Shoulders/Triceps + Abs)
Dumbbell Bench Press (Chest) 45-5 Dumbbell Overhead Press (Shoulders) 25-5 Dumbbell Fly 20-5 Dumbbell Lateral Raise (Shoulders) 15-5 Hanging Leg/Knee Raise (Abs) body weight Incline Dumbbell Press (Chest) 40-5 Dumbbell Overhead Triceps Extension (Triceps) 40-5
Friday – Pull (Back/Biceps)
Lat Pulldown (Back) 100-15 Seated Row (Back) 100-15 Hanging Leg/Knee Raise (Abs) body weight Dumbbell Curl (Biceps) 30-5 Dumbbell Bent Over Row (Back) 45-5 Dumbbell Romanian Deadlift (Hamstrings/Glutes) 45-5 Hammer Curl (Biceps/Forearms) 25-5
If I didn't know what an exercise was, I looked it up here.
https://fitbod.me/exercises/dumbbells
The numbers are the weight I will attempt first. The +/- means if too easy, add the weight on the third set. If too hard, remove the weight after attempting the new weight.
I try to always hit failure. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I only get five reps.
I don't like all the silly programs 5/3/1 Faster, Stronger, Harder, or what not. I do these and occasionally try new lifts. That's it.
You can do 2 sets of 6 reps at higher weights and get similar results as long as you hit failure, get enough protein, and sleep at least six hours.
Thank you very much!
Saved your comment and will probably build up some kind of similar training for my pre surfing workout, so I don't look like an absolute idiot, who can't even manage to get out to the waves ;-)
You're (at least?) the second one recommending weight lifting and barbells.
So I guess, there is something to it
Will need to make some room in the apartment for it, as I'm not the biggest fan of going to the gym
Until it broke, I had such a thing to do pull ups at the door frame
Which was great to get rid of stress.
So I just did some pull ups during work, when I needed to get rid of the adrenaline - else I'll just end completely tensed up in the evening
We have a room full of stuff we don't use and call it our storage room.
It's a waste of space anyway. Maybe I can combine that 2 things and clean out the room, to make a little gym and reading room :-)
Not who you asked but I think the absolute best bang for your buck would be a simple barbell program. 531 for Beginners you could run this program for a year and It will completely change your physique. To make a dead simple I would install the boostcamp app and use it to track your sets/reps/progress, it has instructions for the exercises which are easy to learn
Thank you very much for the input
I've never seen myself much as a weight pusher.
I do have some weights somewhere, but I always was a proponent of just using your body weight.
And although a part of the motivation comes from looking good naked again, it's not so much about that - and that's what I've always associated with weight lifting.
But I'll look into it.
Trying something new is always additional motivation anyway and my prejudice here is very probably wrong anyway.
So thanks for that, will read into it :-)
No worries I'm always happy to help someone get started. I have always been skinny 165lb runner and cyclist. But I wanted to try lifting a barbell and a few years later I'm sitting at 220lbs with a powerlifting gym in my basement feeling better than I did in my 20s.
In this thread already some people mention weight lifting as being helpful
So, I'll look into it
But I don't really want to build up mass.
I always liked being skinny, but defined and with strength/endurance.
I want the body to be able to do what I like.
So, going skiing or surfing and everything else.
I always find those mountains of muscles some bodybuilders move around strange, because they don't seem to be really functional for sport and reduce the ability to move, when they get extreme.
I'm thinking of getting back into fighting sports.
Did Hapkido for some time in my 20s and really liked it. But my joints are aching by just holding the phone to long.
So doing some painful levering on them during training doesn't sound so wise...
I'm currently trying to get them better with some elastic band exercises and try to build up on that, by extending the movement to also include the shoulders.
But obviously, this is more of a health exercise, than a real sport thing
Ah yeah maybe I should've clarified a bit I'm not talking about bodybuilding I'm talking about strength training which is way more functional. It's not easy to get bulbous, it certainly won't happen by accident. Was able to do a 120km bike ride last summer through the mountains, big hikes, etc no trouble. But when it's time to lift something heavy jaws drop hah. Everybody could use a few extra pounds of muscle
Same but cycling. Stumbling into a workout that I look forward to was game changing.
That is me with running. I feel like I could do a zone two run forever. Just such a refreshing activity.
I ran. It took me a while, but I started to enjoy it. Then my achilles tendon and knee started to hurt and I stopped for a short while until it would get better.
That was over a year ago and I still can't walk properly when getting out of bed. Friend said I need to lose weight to be able to run again. Well, yeah, how the fuck is that supposed to happen then?
Hey, I run a lot, but in the mornings when I wake up I have the achilles tightness. I get up and the first thing I do is stretch out my calves and my hamstrings. Just bent over on the night stand, or leg up on a stool on the bathroom when I'm brushing my teeth. I'll notice that crepitus in the achilles while going downstairs, but after I've kind of "warmed up" for the day, it's all gone. As far as I can tell, the condition itself is basically the only harm done, and that it kinda is what it is.
The knees, I tend to be more careful of. Had some ITBS recently, and so would do some post run stretching focused on that area that was helpful.
I was probably about 20lbs heavier when I decided to get back into shape. I'm now "not overweight" (what a goal!), but still have issues with the achilles, and so I just kinda shrug, is what it is. I will say, when I started to get back into running I'd have the normal shin/knee pains, and getting fitted for shoes at a local running place, and ultimately going with their suggestion, which was a pair of shoes I never, ever would've bought before, was helpful with my stride and not feeling pain while running. I've since put probably close to 1000 miles on the shoes and need to get new ones, but that seems to constantly end up being a tomorrow thing.
Gotta work on that diet. Best way to lose weight.
Unless you're already eating the perfect diet, then I have no idea. I suppose it would be time for a doctor at that point.
I would argue it's the only way. Can't outrun the fork.
Do some resistance training to restrengthen your legs, and start building stamina through cycling (standing or outdoor). Cycling is great because it's possible to go from extremely low intensity (barely faster than walking pace) to vomit intensity with no change in impact.
This happened to me and I was under weight at the time. It did eventually go away, but I’m not risking another couple years of painfully stepping out of bed. Brisk walking is fine.
Started in my mid 30s. I was never good at it, but I started to enjoy it, when my knee started to act up. Doctor said it was because of an old issue from a motorcycle accident and I could either have surgery with just a 50% chance of success or drop running. As I was doing (amateurish)Triathlon training at the time, I dropped running and focused on cycling and swimming. I enjoy this very much now and even get decent progress. I'm approaching mid-40s now and I hope I can do it much longer still.
I can only stay in zone 2 for a few minutes, but it's amazing. Then it's zone 3, which is fine... but within a mile of starting, it's above that and I have to walk, let it drop and then start off again. I wish I could keep it in zone 2 or even 3.
I've been running for 12 years, 3-5x a week 3-5km a time and am not overweight... when does it get better/easier? I'm starting to think it's just not for me, even though I enjoy it.
What is a zone two run?
Zones refer to heart rate. Zone 2 is 60-70% of your maximum heart rate.
Think a distance runner putting out light effort.
Ah gotcha, thanks! I’ve heard you should run at a pace at which you could still keep a conversation going. Probably gets to the same idea
I just started working out again, after an injury, but I do upper body in useful activities. I've so much heavy work I need to do, it would be wasteful to mindlessly pump iron or whatever.
I'm just doing like crunches and squats, and getting back into distance running, as of yet. Might add some planks and idk what else.
Romanian deadlifts and leg raises have made my once crippled back bulletproof
Thanks for the tip, I've had constant back problems as I switched to heating with firewood, and all the bending over just jacked up my back constantly. Better now for the moment, although crunches don't help it, leg lifts without the upper body rising are mostly ok.
Problem is, it takes too long to max out on leg lifts, I can literally spend 8 hours doing them on and off, same as squats. For the latter I was going to carry a log on my back, I will look like an asshole if a neighbor sees me but still.
Because of just sitting at the computer all day, I've developed a hollow back and often have back pains.
I've tried many different approaches of stretching and loosening muscle cramps and stuff, but just 3 weeks ago I've stumbled on this videos of treating such things with exercises to finally build up muscles - but also immediately releasing tension.
At least for me, they work really well
Shoulders/Neck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Loqly-3g5xo
Back
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JCowqOSk_g
Hip
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCJEx2kfK84
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v6BKBOt9hM
Honestly the leg lifts are kind of just a courtesy exercise. Bracing during heavy compound lifts does a pretty good job on the abs, I feel like it's the slabs of muscle on my back and butt and hamstrings that just really stabilized my whole back/core. I saw neurosurgeon about my back and he said the muscle was preventing me feeling like a cripple and to never stop lifting
I will try bracing, I have a brace somewhere.
The other thing, I've been harvesting wild leafy greens to eat masses of. Stinging nettles as of now. That is the key to building strength and muscle, it has natural steroid like compounds your body uses. Popeye knows what I'm talking about.
Careful with those knees, though
44 is the average age we start to fall apart rapidly, then again at 60. There are periods of rapid deterioration compared to the 50s or 70s.
It's the same thing as a growth spurt in your teens, except tragic and with crunching from the knees.
I'm lucky, mine started at 40. And then I had my first kid. Great combo!
Yeah, I’m at that latter age and my knees have been going for a while. However it’s just now that I’m noticing that by using my knees less I’m losing muscle fast.
I’ve completed the spending part of lifting weights. Last summer I cleaned out my garage to turn into a gym, then over winter got some equipment. Now I need to assemble. ….. then see if I can develop the habit to actually lift