this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2026
132 points (89.3% liked)
me_irl
7967 readers
1597 users here now
All posts need to have the same title: me_irl it is allowed to use an emoji instead of the underscore _
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Blame is a mechanism specifically designed to absolve oneself of responsibility. "Hey, I just wanted to let everyone know this fucked up thing I do is because my mom didn't tie my shoelaces properly.". The people affected by your actions don't need to know why you do this fucked up thing, they just want you to stop doing it to them.
It can be, and is often used that way, but it doesn't have to be.
And, generally, knowing the root causes of problems helps in best figuring out how to fix them.
My therapist mentioned its 80% awareness, 20% adding effective skills. But it can take a long ass time to rewire the engrained habits with new neuropathways habitually remembering and applying effective skills