this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2026
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me_irl
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You can't really move out though. The metaphor is that your parents construct the lower floors of your building based on how they raised you. In real life, you can't un-raise yourself or rewrite history, so moving out and into a new building with better foundations isn't an option. Best you can do is get some outside help to throw in some external supports for those shaky lower floors.
As a 50+ yo that cut contact with his parents decades ago, I know that you can most definitely move out. I am aware that many of my negative behaviors were formed in my early years due in large part to my upbringing but there came a point in my life where I was aware they were due in totality to me choosing to continue those behaviors. Although I will never be confused with a saint, I'm a much better person and my choices in how I behave have absolutely nothing to do with my upbringing. The old building with the bad foundation hasn't been part of my life for decades.
The analogy is the embodiment of victim mentality, meant to help a person feel powerless regarding why they make poor choices. Staying in that building is a choice each person makes. It's not a prison.
You can find new role models, you can build new supports for those weaker floors and maybe even completely renovate some of them with enough work. You can theorize the new floors you want to build and rework your existing floors to get there.