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Because there's a lot more important stuff to worry about than someone's fucking pronouns.
No. Basic human decency in the face of fascism is incredibly important actually. You will not change my mind. Bye.
Self identity doesn't require external validation. You define yourself through your actions, not by what you say you are. It's not a sign of disrespect if someone doesn't use your preferred pronouns, it's that they're more concerned with you being a good neighbor or that you use your turn signals or say please and thank you or make eye contact when you're talking to someone or that you bathe before you go out in public.
The democrats are facing one of the greatest challenges we've ever had in this country. They need to find a way to push back against the influence of propaganda, to rebuild trust in institutions, to decide how to address a conservative supreme court, to decide when, if, and how to re-fund the USAID and other government programs and agencies, to rebuild alliances with our allies, run an effective government, restore trust in science, trust in the electoral system ... And you want them to be the party of pronouns? That's just the problem. They want to be the party of pronouns because they don't seem to have any idea how to address the hundreds of other issues they need to be focusing on. At least not as far as I've heard.
I'd argue you define yourself through both.
If you purposefully don't use their preferred pronouns it is. In much the same way it's a sign of disrespect to call someone a piece of trash to their face.
You're being the bad "neighbor" by purposefully using the wrong pronouns, but also, what?
People who purposely use your wrong pronouns are just assholes. I'm not talking about them. Just regular people. And your pronouns, or your name, or what skin color you have are just labels. Not who you are.