this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2026
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I've had my 3 genie wishes planned out since I was a kid, but I'm starting to think if I can use a lot of commas in each wish I should be able to squeeze them down to 2 and use my 3rd one to wish for everyone who self-censors internet images or post titles to burst into flame.
Beaten to death with a giant asterisk.
In this economy? Burying the bodies would bankrupt half their families. I haven't heard anything about spontaneous human combustion in decades now, and it's time we get that back in the news.