cross-posted from: https://literature.cafe/post/34703104
this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2026
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Elizabeth Holmes made the critical error of stealing from rich people
Remember her court testimony?
First admitting she was CEO, and now claiming that she was just acting CEO.
But Ms. Holmes... did you not start this company?
"I swear to god, I was extremely incompetent. I had no clue what I did day in, day out. It's all just a blur. I'm not even sure why they hired me honestly."
“Fuck if I know what I did on my years-long coke bender”
"Not only am I a bad judge of who a good employee might be, but I'm also a bad employee. It's truly the worst situation, Your Honor."
"I was self-employed and my boss was an incompetent jerk."
"Seems to be a huge problem in self-employment. I’m self-employed, or was until my asshole boss got in a car accident in my car and somehow blamed the whole thing on me! Fucker is a procrastinator too."
"I've already punished myself with a pay cut."
"Look no reasonable person would have hired me, thus I'm clearly mentally unwell"
"I’m gonna sue my ass for what I did to me!"
“I am just a low-level CEO, I really just made the coffee.”
"As I said, I was incompetent. I should never have hired me."