this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2025
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Microblog Memes
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Gift cards are a raw cash bump for stores perpetrated by idiots upon society. I’m rarely preachy irl, but gift cards always set me off. You’re just giving stores money for no reason. Why are you donating to Amazon? Bestbuy doesn’t need your money. I don’t even like massages.
You know what’s better than a gift card? Cash or making plans to just veg out for a couple of hours together. I will gut you like a fucking fish if you hand me a gift card. I will end your bloodline if you force me to call a phone line and register an account to access fucking money as a gift. You’ve inconvenienced us both. Just place the bills in an envelope and draw a smiley face on the front before I have to invent a hate crime
Edit: Per another comment, this seems to differ by country, and might be an impossible "win" for the US, where I haven't seen expiring ones in ages.
When is the last time you've used a gift card? I haven't had to fuck with making an account for one in over a decade. I'm also seeing other people in the comments talk about expiration, which is another thing I haven't had any of them due in quite a number of years (pretty sure some laws changed so they can't anymore).
I'd totally prefer cash, but it's not some horrible affront to the natural order of things anymore.
Outside of those psuedo-debit card monstrosities. I still see those with extra fees, registration, and expiration (technically maintenance fees down to a zero balance). Those are extra dumb as fuck. Just give me the cash.
A bit extreme, but true. I fucking hate gift cards. 'oh but this one is branded visa and you can use it anywhere' well I want to deposit it in my bank account but they won't let me do that directly noooo so I have to send you the money you just gave me in this moronic format through fucking PayPal which will take a 3% cut so that you can send it back to me with less value so I can finally transfer it to my bank account. Plus whatever shitty fee that you paid to get this garbage piece of plastic.
It took years of me saying 'just CASH' to family members, and eventually they started giving my gift cards, to which I recited a variation of this message, and the last few years they fiiiiiiinally have been just writing me checks.
It took like 15 years but I get all my gift, you save 'card fees', no bullshit middle-man, everyone wins.