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God I wish. I was a pot head through a very very hard time of my life. Family death, after college shock. Weed was great for me when I needed it. But the good thing about weed is that it lets you walk away from it.
I had a really bad trip taking an ungodly amount of edibles one time. Literally thought I was taking CBD gummies. Basically, I went to get CBD gummies and the dude at counter was like. Oh, yeah, we got that in blackberry now, you want it? Of course. So he must have grabbed THC by mistake and I don't know how much I had. But I was gone. Like for days.
I was organizing parts of my brain that were out of order. Hallucinating (maybe high and dreaming? Idk). I know people say that doesn't happen on weed. But maybe my brain is just different.
Long story short. I have a panic attack when I get high now. I know it's not weed but a mental side effect of whatever that experience did to me.
But weed let me walk away from it without any side effects or withdrawal. I'm glad for that. Weed is great and I wish it worked the same way it use to for me.
If you ever feel so inclined, and want to try again, try blending your weed with hemp (cbd-only).
The strains they have out there these days are designed to maximize thc, but it’s at the cost of balance. Thc and cbd sort of limit each other in a nice way, but modern weed is low on cbd so all you get is the harsh high and none of the calm or relaxation. Lots of people get anxiety from smoking modern weed that never did with classic mods or ditch weed.
If you use just a bit of weed with a bunch of hemp (like 10% weed tops) it’s a lot more like the old-school experience. Very mild and pleasant.
It may not be enough to prevent the panic attacks, idk :( it helped with the smoking anxiety for me, though.
There was a study in British Columbia around 2017 or so where they gave brain damaged rats some super potent form of THC in massive quantities and those rats reprogrammed and rewired their brain damaged brains while the control group did not.
Way too much can definitely cause hallucinations and aS you experienced,, can cause some really horrible experiences. If you ever want to try again, start with an extremely low dosage - low enough where you don't feel anything.
There are more options out there if you really want to break free from addiction before more damage is done. It's worth it.