this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
453 points (98.7% liked)

Funny

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[–] sundray@lemmus.org 74 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It goes inside the body πŸ˜‰ .

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 16 points 1 month ago

Damn. Too slick for me.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] sundray@lemmus.org 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Instructions unclear, pickle stuck in nostril.

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They're even textured for our pleasure...

[–] datavoid@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

There's also smooth ones if you hate the texture that much.

Or for a different, more velvet-y feel, you could go with courgettes?

If this isn't hitting the spot, there's always eggplants, and if you're feeling crazy, there's a whole universe of pumpkins and squashes for the brave to explore.

[–] datavoid@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

Apparently my Wayne's World reference was not well received

[–] RheumatoidArthritis@mander.xyz 37 points 1 month ago (3 children)

174 upvotes and no comment about how AI fucked up the tops so they look like zucchinis?

[–] mybuttnolie@sopuli.xyz 39 points 1 month ago

they have a flared base for safety

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm guessing there's many different types of cucumbers, but now that you said it, yeah, definitely ai and definitely somehow a mix of cucumber and zucchini, although all these plants are related anyhow.

[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 2 points 1 month ago

What makes you so certain it is AI?

Might just be a special type of cucumber. And I don't see anything wrong with the straw. Even the contrast looks normal. So I'm guessing it is not AI at all.

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Are there not any actual photos of cucumbers? Why do people need AI for everything?!

They needed extra knobby ones

[–] Kn1ghtDigital@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 month ago

Instructions unclear, cucumber stuck in ceiling fan

[–] Ioughttamow@fedia.io 15 points 1 month ago

An offering to the house spirit

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Green dicks with chickenpox.

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 4 points 1 month ago

Not the fast food kind

[–] Naich@lemmings.world 4 points 1 month ago

The clue is in the name.

[–] hmancuso@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago
[–] imetators@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago
[–] tio_bira@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Barenziah won't approve

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago

Ah yes, the tried and true sex funny.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago
[–] glorkon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

For my fellow Germans (in case you don't know the video yet).

(Explanation: It's a German language clip taken from an obscure TV station, apparently about health tips for women or something like that. The moderator talks about how beneficial it is to your health to "put a cucumber in your juicer first thing in the morning", which makes the female guest laugh uncontrollably because of the unintended innuendo.)

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 1 points 1 month ago (3 children)

What on earth is that in the image?

Also, I loathe cucumber like no other food. It stinks and infects everything it is near.

I gather it is (or can be) a genetic thing. Either that or it's objectively minging.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Cucumbers naturally produce very bitter compounds known as cucurbitacins. These cytotoxins are bred out of the cucumbers by hybridization but they can always re-occur in plants that were cross-pollinated (usually unintentionally). Perhaps at one point you ate a cucumber containing some and you now have strongly aversive reactions to them?

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have never eaten a cucumber, except accidentally when it's in a salad or sandwich. The smell alone is enough. It's overbearing.

Oh okay. That’s really interesting! I love cucumbers, both fresh and pickled! I like the smell too. Nice and fresh!

[–] tomenzgg@midwest.social 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

(mostly just curious) Do you like pickles, any? Or does the cucumber flavor still come through?

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Anything pickled is fine, as it just tastes of vinegar.

[–] tomenzgg@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago

That's what I would've figured but didn't want to assume; thanks!