this post was submitted on 21 Jan 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 40 comments
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[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 116 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] IntrovertTurtle@lemmy.zip 112 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 46 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

My favourite part is "repeatedly"

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

This is Adam West Batman kind of villainary...

[–] IntrovertTurtle@lemmy.zip 60 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Obligatory warning/infodump:

  1. This is dangerous and will get you in trouble when caught
  2. Almost all police holsters have basic locks on them; some are just a leather strap with a snap button, some are hard plastic loops with a lever/button to release the pistol
  3. 1312/ACAB
[–] A_cook_not_a_chef@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago

I'm going to piggy back on this comment because there are different 'levels' for holsters:

https://inside.safariland.com/education/holster-retention/

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 10 points 1 month ago

This is actually a great idea and everyone should do it

[–] diemartin@sh.itjust.works 40 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

You are over-encumbered (from the other 7468 Officers' Service Weapons)

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I'm saving them until I need them for a big boss fight. Til then I'll stick with the knife.

[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

One of the many calls of the void I experience frequently.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"What if I jump from here?" is my favorite.

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

I want to touch that fast spinning thing…

Mine is "Blare Freebird and then ran into the closest building at top speed once the guitar solo kicks in" Freebird is now actively banned when I'm not on empty desert roads.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I’ve seen this happen myself lol. Got a gun pointed right in my face because the batshit crazy girl i was with grabbed the gun out of the holster

[–] Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

She sounds sweet, if perhaps a little bit psycho

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

She could break me

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How?! Every cop I've seen has a proper holster to prevent that. If you know how they work you might snatch it, but it would still be a bit awkward.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It was in a poor / underdeveloped country. There wasn’t anything because she just grabbed it right out of there

[–] Aganim@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It was in a poor / underdeveloped country.

Damn, I would have thought even the US would have holsters with a basic retention mechanism by now.

[–] Rooty@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I hope the sex was worth it bro.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't worry, it's steal not pickpocket. Simply move the gun out of his sight and then steal it.

Put a bucket over his head and you can take the entire set.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What are those two little pockets for? I can see one has the shape of handcuffs, and the radio. But those two smaller ones are eluding me.

[–] kaklerbitmap@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They're for little baggies of drugs, for planting on victims.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Steal

Officer's cocaine

[–] Echo5@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If you’re talking about the things just left of the handcuff case, those are little webbing loops that snap closed and keep the outer belt secured to the inner belt

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Follow up question, why are cops so fat and lazy they need two belts

[–] Echo5@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Reference tactical belts in general, there’s typically an inner belt that fits inside belt loops, then a bigger outer belt that Velcroes onto the inner belt. The outer belt is what you attach gear to, and keepers (the webbing loops) are required partially because the belt attachment loops of the gear obstruct the Velcro, weakening the connection. As to why you don’t just throw all that stuff on the inner belt, I think it’s a question of ergonomics and space required. Not 100% on that one

[–] PolyLlamaRous@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why is it soooo tempting to do?! Everytime I see one that voice in the back of my head says to take it... They won't notice...

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 8 points 1 month ago

Narrator: they absolutely did notice

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

What’s with this guys ass?

[–] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Its just a dump truck with a flat tire

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 1 points 1 month ago

BRUH

I have never heard this before and it's hilarious.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 month ago

Hank Hill joined the police.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Looks like a oversized wallet in his back pocket,

[–] Retro_unlimited@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

lol I’m watching someone play Skyrim right now, and they are playing as a master thief lol

[–] kaklerbitmap@lemmy.world 0 points 1 month ago

They're for little baggies of drugs for planting on victims.