this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 51 minutes ago* (last edited 44 minutes ago)

>start cyber security job

>am 27, BSc, MSc, 4 years of xp

>entire team is over 50 with one youngling at 45

>none of them have any formal IT qualifications whatsoever

>boss does not know how to read

>clearly just reads the first few words of a sentence and guesses the rest

>only writes in 3-4 word sentences without punctuation and capitalization

>only time anyone writes any detailed amount of text is obviously with copilot

>they refuse to use Jira because it's "too complicated" even though we all have licenses to it and there's a security project already set up

>have me log ticket statuses in a spreadsheet instead

>but only for 2 weeks, after no one checks it

>all communication is 3-4 sentence emails in threads with 20+ people 100+ emails each going back years

>boss proceeds to talk in a 1-2-1 about how he feels for the fact women don't get to speak while not letting me utter a single word in said meeting

>almost every time I try to add to a conversation in a group meeting it's taken as an attack

>team's main project is to put the password manager behind the same password manager

>half of them are constantly having very basic computer problems

>boss opens group convo on teams only to complain there's "too many messages" and that he can't keep up

>I provide summaries in a few short paragraphs but he doesn't read them

>Boss says he doesn't have access to a system but he's really just unable or unwilling to locate the sign in button

>I complete tasks, but they're never checked on by anyone or followed up by anyone

>sometimes I'm expected to elaborate in detail immediately on random things from 3-4 months ago

>at annual review receive complaints that I'm not doing enough but no specifics

>how positively I'm perceived on a given day seems to not correlate with any work done

>seems to mostly depend on how I look in meetings

>try to make small talk

>most don't seem to understand the concept

>one proceeds to show me his entire house, room by room

>it's completely empty and unfurnished

>wut.jpg

>ask them if they like to do self-hosting or play ctfs or hackthebox

>no one has any idea what any of what I said is

>ask one if he's seen movie_name

>Very awkward pause

>barks: "No"

>Drops off meeting because he had a windows update

>He uses a Mac

>One talks about crypto

>Huge crypto guy

>I somewhat jokingly ask him if he's got a stash of XMR

>he doesn't know what that is

Honestly bros I don't wanna be fired because job searching is hell but there's a part of me that will breathe a sigh of relief when I eventually am. Quirky star wars shit here I come.

Sorry for the formatting, I have to add extra newlines and backslashes to make it half-decent. this site sucks sometimes

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 7 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

I'm on Twitter because a long time ago it was a good place to get contacts and industry updates. The only reason I'm still on Twitter is because I haven't used it in about 6 years have forgotten the password and can't log in to delete the account.

But anyway being in cybersecurity isn't about being invisible, if you were invisible you wouldn't be in the industry, you'd just be a hermit living in the woods. It's about being aware of security threats and taking precautive action for yourself and your employer. Me posting videos of my rat completing puzzles, doesn't compromise either of these requirements.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Meh, I like cute names like the next nerd, but I've never seen any in practice. It's all TV model number like codes.

[–] LadyMeow@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 3 hours ago

I’ve seen cute names at a couple of smaller companies

[–] oxysis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 76 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

> goes into field filled with nerds

> shocked that field filled with nerds is filled with nerds

> shockedpikachu.jpeg

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 24 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (3 children)

Yes we are nerds but we must have decorum.

Plus if you’re managing any real infra at all you’ll run out of names if you’re using Star Wars, even the extended canon.

Really: They’re cute until you’re on a screenshare with an angry customer and you’re trying to restore the wookie database to the ewok database. Then it’s way less cute.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Every character on screen has a name in Star Wars. For example: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Davin_Felth

[–] ImgurRefugee114@reddthat.com 7 points 3 hours ago

God I love that fandom. Or, used to anyways.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 2 hours ago

I wouldn't use cute names anyway because I'd forget what they actually were. It's way better to use descriptive names so that you actually look like you know what you're talking about. Generally speaking you don't see cute names as much as you just see bad names.

In the past I've read code that says things like prefDoUserAccountProccessing_b(e) only to find out that it's some old bit of code that isn't used anymore because it's for an old legacy SAP system. That's apparently what the _b indicated, because obviously.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago

Well now we know how Palpatine came back.

[–] SatyrSack@quokk.au 32 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I think the point of this post is how they are all doing stereotypically nerdy things, and then they are into Twitter

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 25 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

>field stereotypically composed of argumentative assholes
>members congregate amongst argumentative assholes

This is as surprising as finding my old human sexuality professor on tumblr. I mean, I haven’t, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

[–] Axeman666@sh.itjust.works 18 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (2 children)

Another unfortunate fact is that there are a lot of right wing people in IT. That's something I've learned in national conferences. I always hang out in places like this so I had no idea how bad it was, but at least 50% of the people I've met at IT conferences were right leaning. There's only 1 on my team. 2 if you count the libertarian.

[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

As is the rest of society. There's nothing about IT that would make it more likely to attract left wing folks. There is that for FOSS specifically, but a huge part of the IT sector only consumes FOSS products without ever giving back.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 1 points 47 minutes ago

FOSS also attracts right wing libertarians

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 2 hours ago

When I first started I used to work at an absolute dumpster fire of a place, and even that only had one right wing guy and he was a conspiracy theorist who thought that the COVID vaccine contained nanobots. The guy who is supposedly an IT professional thinks we have nanobots.

He didn't last very long. Not because he was a conspiracy theorist, although for my part I would have been perfectly fine if that had been the reason, but because he was actually kind of useless at his job. It turns out that if you think we have a microscopic robotic technology then you're probably not as well versed in the industry as you are pretending to be.

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 hours ago

I know this story is fake because it shows someone actually getting a job in cybersecurity these days

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

quietly disconnects from fileshare named Deathstar

😐

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 7 points 3 hours ago

leaves a backdoor open

[–] MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com 2 points 3 hours ago

I put fun little Easter eggs like that in my logging and some debugging but I can admit it's cringe. If I had someone speak to me like that I wouldn't hate it but I'd question their earnestness.

[–] sundaymidnight@lemmy.world 0 points 4 hours ago

oh, I won't offend them never (let my sexy gf photos private and secure)