this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2026
635 points (98.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

38809 readers
5143 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

196 just ain’t the same since it switched instances

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] bfg9k@lemmy.world 1 points 16 minutes ago

Not me showering before bed so I can make it to the train before being alone with my thoughts

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

I find music keeps me from getting lost in my mind

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 9 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Only 15 minutes? You're doing pretty good!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Shower chairs make this process wonderful. Also like 45 minutes if you fall asleep (when your spouse comes in to check on you)

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

I do it in bed.

My brain likes to loop every scenario that can happen during the day (When I'm at work. When I'm off I'm just a house cat). So I always set my alarm at least an hour before I plan on getting up (I can start my day at work mostly on my own schedule).

So say my alarm goes off at 4am, (unless I've woken up 45 minutes before it) I hit snooze. And I just lay there in the dark, snuggle the dog, get comfortable, and let my brain work out all the anxiety and situations it needs to. Alarm goes off, my brain knows it's 4:15am. I have 45 more minutes. Hit snooze, get comfy, stretch, let brain work through the noise. Repeat.

Fast forward to 5am. I get out of bed, get dressed with my work clothes already for me at the end of my bed. I let the dog outside while I pour the coffee I prepared the morning before on a timer into my big travel mug, wait for dog to come back inside, kiss dog, kiss wife, grab keys and go.

I'm normally out of bed and out the door in roughly 15 minutes.

[–] fleebleneeble@reddthat.com 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Depends if my wife is around.

[–] OR3X@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago (4 children)

Morning shower people are weird. Do you shower before bed and then in the morning as well or do you just get into bed with the day's filth all over you?

[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

if all I did was sit at home all day, yeah I don't usually shower before bed

but most of the time it's both morning and night

[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 7 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

If you're blue collar you shower after work, white collar showers before

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

When I lived in Texas the humidity made me so greasy I had to do both

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 7 hours ago

Or after. I usually shower in the morning in summer and in the evening in winter.

[–] Malfeasant@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (1 children)

I sit in an office all day, not much filth. But yeah, if I go for a bike ride and get all sweaty, I'll shower after, but then I'll usually forgo the next morning's shower... only usually, because morning shower helps me wake up.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

And my hair looks awful without a shower

[–] versionc@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I shower twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening.

[–] Run_The_Jewels@lemmus.org 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Showering twice a day is unhealthy for your skin.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

Congratulations you aren't as greasy as me. And don't bike everywhere

[–] CrowAirbrush@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I miss those showers at home, where you didn't need to care about bills as your parents protected you from those.

My showers easily ended up being 30min long, looking back I wish those bills still took a similar % of your income. I'd happily sink away into my empty brain under a steaming hot shower.

[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

the money I spend on water and gas is well worth it

[–] Bullerfar@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

Yep, exactly me

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

People let the water run while they shampoo? Does that even work?

[–] THE_GR8_MIKE@lemmy.world 6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I mean, the water isn't running into your head while you're doing it. You turn the water off when you shampoo? Don't you get cold?

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Don’t you get cold?

No. But I probably shower hot enough for the air in the shower being warmed up

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

It's so fucking cold that early in the morning all the heat turns to steam and goes up the fan. Godsdamned desert

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 9 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Most shower heads are capable of moving enough that your head isn't always in the direct path.

[–] Malfeasant@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago

My own head is capable of moving enough that my showerhead doesn't need to...

[–] three@lemmy.zip 12 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (3 children)

Add 10 for liberally soaping your ass crack and gently gliding your hand around and across your hole and oops you pushed your finger a little inside but that's ok the soap didn't get in there so maybe you do it a few m9re times while caressing your chest and now your head is spinning and you're breathing hard AND THE HOT WATER RUNS OUT

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Pro tip: if you turn up the water heater, you get more bootyhole time

[–] SpankyDoodle@eviltoast.org 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Quit describing my showers!

[–] emeralddawn45@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 8 hours ago

They've been watching you in there

[–] Rekorse@sh.itjust.works 4 points 16 hours ago

Small water heater tanks are the worst.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 31 points 1 day ago

Only fifteen minutes? Speed demon

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Where’s the stage where you cry in the fetal position for 20 minutes?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Before bootyhole business

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 2 points 7 hours ago

That's during the afternoon shower

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] stickyprimer@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago

Wow there’s a way to prepare for it? Please share the details. I’m still on “stumble out and get blindsided by it all again.”

load more comments
view more: next ›