this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

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3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

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9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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all 38 comments
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[–] ZedOnnTheGo@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 hour ago
[–] tooks@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

Hollowed eye sockets beneath the sunglasses. With eyes removed, no more notifications.

[–] Krudler@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago

I almost never get texts from friends, which is okay. Because I know we're tight and when we get together it's all cool.

But last night at 1:38 a.m. I get a text from my bud saying hey want to go to the gym with me tomorrow?. Which I didn't see until I awoke.

Dude probably sent that on beer 28.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

What's your number? I'll text you. I'm lonely though so you might regret your wish. My texts have been known to get a little verbose.

[–] Krudler@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

I have a free texting app which I use for dating, because I don't want crazy women to have my real number up front.

(431) 803-0202

Feel free to shoot a message

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 1 points 4 hours ago

Have you seen the TV show Misfits?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

waking up to zero missed calls because i answer the phone and talk to telemarketers in my sleep. fortunately i don't have any credit numbers memorized well enough (and never will praise Rustle) to remember them in my sleep.

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 7 points 10 hours ago

phone rings

Normal person: "Who?"

Me: "Why?"

[–] jobbies@lemmy.zip 3 points 10 hours ago

I actually now hate getting any form of communication that social convention requires I reply too.

[–] PissingIntoTheWind@lemmy.world 1 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Got my Facebook temporarily disabled. No one contacted me for my bday. It was sad.

[–] Hisse@programming.dev 1 points 1 hour ago

When's your bday? I'll try to remember

[–] X@piefed.world 37 points 1 day ago (2 children)

That’s my default. Me, getting any notification: 🫨oh no now what

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 4 points 10 hours ago

I ended up turning off notifications entirely because it always ended up being some bullshit and I was tired of getting my hopes up every time my phone vibrated only for it to be mass text soliciting donations

[–] Hisse@programming.dev 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Its an SMS sent by the government

[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 14 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Happened literally last week. Interrupted my music session twice.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

texas sent one of those out. an emergency alert to the entire damn state that someone was hiding out at the libary after shooting at (not hitting) a cop. practically the entire damn state was ready to turn up to help them run away because the text woke them up at 4 am

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (2 children)
[–] Custard@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

Might be weird translation? Probably mean Indian made tech?

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 10 points 23 hours ago

It also wouldn't stop vibrating till I clicked 'OK'. 😐

[–] AnnaFrankfurter@lemmy.ml 5 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

Its called EXTREMELY SEVERE ALERT

[–] X@piefed.world 6 points 1 day ago

🔫👀🔫

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 5 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

You know, there's also a thing called "do not disturb" (it's always on with me and only wifey can get through).

Or the hardcore "airplane mode".

[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Yep, mine is scheduled hrs b4 bed

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

At the very least b4 bed...though I love the peace the whole year through 😁

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

mine turns on 2 hours before bedtime and turns off, uh,

sic 'em Oily! go goob 'em up!

[–] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 day ago

Mission accomplished

[–] roserose56@lemmy.zip 3 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] laranis@lemmy.zip 6 points 18 hours ago

You should text him.

[–] Jocker@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago

It's the best feeling

[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago

The real LVP.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 7 points 1 day ago

The good life

[–] Billy_fuccboi@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

It's called peace

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Another day living the dream... aaahhhh.

I think I'll make some tea.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 20 hours ago

Well, guess who I'm spamming

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Me too brodav